ΤΑ ΜΑΥΡΑ ΛΟΥΣΤΡΙΝΙΑ - THE BLACK PATENT LEATHER SHOES

 

ΤΑ ΜΑΥΡΑ ΛΟΥΣΤΡΙΝΙΑ Μάρω Δούκα Στη μέση του δωματίου το φέρετρο. Μας είχαν, εμένα και τον αδελφό μου, δίπλα δίπλα να κλαίμε. «Κλάψετε και άλλο», μας προέτρεπαν, «κλάψετε τον πατέρα σας, ορφανά». Κι εμείς φωνάζαμε: «Πατέρα, πατέρα». Έπειτα μου έδωσε η θεία Αγγελικώ ένα κατοστάρικο και μου είπε: «Τρέχα να φέρεις μισή πήχη νεκρικό βελούδο από του Βαρδουλέ». Όπως περνούσα από το Λούνα Πάρκ στην αλάνα, στάθηκα και ξεροστάλιαζα. Λίγα χρόνια αργότερα θα χτιζόταν εδώ θερινός κινηματογράφος και θα γινόταν η σκοτεινή του είσοδος κάθε Σάββατο βράδυ, τους χειμώνες, υπόστεγο στ’ αγκαλιάσματα και στα φιλιά. Έβρεχε και άστραφτε κι εμείς κολλημένοι, αμίλητοι. Κι ύστερα τα ψιθυρίσματα: «Σε λατρεύω, δεν μπορώ να ζήσω χωρίς εσένα». Βρήκα ένα αγοράκι ξυπόλυτο και το προσκάλεσα. Του έκανα τα έξοδα και μπήκαμε στο θαλασσί βαρκάκι. Τραβούσαμε τα σκοινιά και τραγουδούσαμε με όλη μας τη δύναμη ήταν ένα μικρό καράβι, ήταν ένα μικρό καράβι, που ήταν α-α-αταξίδευτο, που ήταν α-α-αταξίδευτο, ο-ε-ο-εεε, ο-ε-ο-ε. Το ξυπόλυτο θα γινόταν έπειτα από χρόνια υδραυλικός και θα τον ερωτευόταν η καλύτερή μου φίλη στο γυμνάσιο. Θα τον πλησίαζα ένα απόγευμα και θα του έδινα το ραβασάκι της, γιατί η φίλη μου ήταν ντροπαλή και δεν τολμούσε. Κλέφτηκαν την επόμενη χρονιά κι έγινε μέγα σούσουρο. Με τα πολλά υποχώρησαν οι γονιοί της και τους πάντρεψαν. Πήγα ένα πρωινό στο σπίτι της και τη βρήκα κλαμένη. Την είχε δείρει επειδή δεν του είχε σιδερώσει καλά το πουκάμισο. Κι άρχισα να της λέω να τον χωρίσει. Με παραμόνεψε λέω λέω  να τον χωρίσει. Κι αυτός την ώρα του σχολάσματος με παραμόνεψε και με απείλησε ότι θα με ξεσκίσει αν ξαναβάλω λόγια στη γυναίκα του. «Να μην ξαναπατήσεις στο σπίτι μας, άκουσες;» Δεν ξαναπάτησα. Κι έπειτα από δέκα χρόνια η φίλη μου πέθανε. Αγόρασα ένα κοκοράκι κόκκινο και το έγλειφα. Πέρασα μέσα από την Αγορά, κατέβηκα τα σκαλάκια, κάθισα κι έφαγα λουκουμάδες και χόρτασα. Στάθηκα στη βιτρίνα του υποδηματοπωλείου. Μπήκα και ζήτησα να δοκιμάσω τα μαύρα λουστρίνια που είχα δει στη βιτρίνα. Τα φόρεσα και καμάρωνα. Ρώτησα πόσο κάνουν. Ογδόντα δραχμές, διότι επρόκειτο για υπόδημα πολυτελείας. Μέτρησα τις ογδόντα και τις έδωσα. Ζήτησαν να μου τα τυλίξουν, αρνήθηκα να τα βγάλω από τα πόδια μου. Τύλιξαν τότε τα ξεχειλωμένα διπλόσολα που φορούσα. Στην παρακάτω γωνία τα πέταξα. Χαιρέτησα τον κύριο Βαρδουλέ. Του είπα για το κατοστάρικο που έχασα και για τον πατέρα μου που πέθανε κι αν θα μπορούσε να μου δώσει λίγο μοβ βελούδο. «Μην κλαις, παιδί μου». Πήρε από το ράφι το τόπι, το ξετύλιξε, μέτρησε με την ξύλινη πήχη τριάντα πόντους, έκοψε το βελούδο στην ούγια με την ψαλίδα του, «είναι διπλόφαρδο», είπε, και το ’σκισε με δύναμη. Ρώτησα πόσο κοστίζει. «Εξήντα, αλλά δεν πειράζει, γνώριζα τον πατέρα σου, χαλάλι του». Του ζήτησα τότε να μου δώσει τα ρέστα που θα μου έδινε αν δεν είχα χάσει το κατοστάρικο. Με κοίταζε σαν να τον είχα χαστουκίσει. «Αν γυρίσω, κύριε Βαρδουλέ, χωρίς τα ρέστα, θα με μαυρίσουν στο ξύλο». Άνοιξε ανόρεχτα το συρτάρι του πάγκου και μου μέτρησε σαράντα. «Πρόσεξε μην τα χάσεις κι αυτά». Τον ευχαρίστησα και πήρα τον δόμο. Δυο χρόνια αργότερα ο κύριος Βαρδουλές έπαιξε το μαγαζί του στο μπαρμπούτι και κατήντησε γυρολόγος στα χωριά. Κοίταζα κάθε λίγο τα λουστρίνια μου και καμάρωνα. Έφτασα στα Στιλβωτήρια, δίπλα στην Αγορά. Είδα τον υπαίθριο φωτογράφο. Τον πλησίασα και του ζήτησα να με φωτογραφίσει. Άφησα στο στραβοκάνικο τραπέζι το πακετάκι με το βελούδο και στάθηκα να ποζάρω. Δίπλα μου το άλογο της άμαξας έδιωχνε με την ουρά τις μύγες που το βασάνιζαν. Τρία ψεύτικα κεράσια στην καπελίνα του. Ριρί-ριρί-ριρίκα, τραγουδούσε ο γερο-λούστρος πιο πέρα. Μετωπικά στη μουσούδα της μηχανής του φωτογράφου και περίμενα. Σαν να έβλεπα τη ζωή μου να τρέχει και την πόλη να αλλάζει. Θα έφευγα έπειτα από εφτά χρόνια. Όταν θα επέστρεφα, οι αμαξάδες, οι λούστροι, οι υπαίθριοι φωτογράφοι, θα είχαν όλοι πεθάνει και ο περίβολος της Αγοράς θα είχε εξωραϊστεί. Κουνούσα τη φωτογραφία να στεγνώσει και ελαφροπατούσα βλέποντας αυτάρεσκα την εικόνα μου. Έντεκα χρόνων, συνοφρυωμένη. Οι αφέλειές μου στο πλάι, κολλημένες με λεμόνι, διότι ήθελα πάντα το μέτωπό μου ελεύθερο. Τους μαύρους φιόγκους στις κοτσίδες πότε είχα προλάβει να τους δέσω; Και που είχα βρει τα μαύρα σοσόνια; Το μπεζ παλτουδάκι με το μελί βελούδο στον στρογγυλό γιακά, στις μανσέτες και στις ψεύτικες τσέπες ήταν το πρώτο μου παλτό, κι έπειτα από μια βδομάδα το έβαλε στο καζάνι η μάνα και το έβαψε μαύρο. Όλα βάφτηκαν μαύρα στο σπίτι και άντεξαν. Το παλτουδάκι μόνο δεν άντεξε. Τόσο πολύ αποσούρωσε με το βράσιμο, που δεν μου έμπαινε πια. Κι έμεινα χωρίς παλτό. Αλλά είχα τα πρώτα μου μαύρα λουστρίνια. Άκουσα από τη γωνία τα μοιρολόγια της μάνας μας. Ξεκούμπωσα το παλτό κι έκρυψα στην μπλούζα μου τη φωτογραφία. Είδα στην κολόνα του ηλεκτρικού στραβοκολλημένο με αλευρόκολλα το νεκρόσημο. Κοντοστάθηκα και το διάβασα. Με ικανοποίησε η επισημότητά του. Το όνομα του πατέρα με γράμματα μεγάλα, καθαρά. Ενοχλήθηκα μόνο με το «ετών 62». Μα ήταν τόσο γέρος ο πατέρας; Δυσκολευόμουν να το δεχτώ. Σταμάτησε δίπλα μου ο γείτονας, ο μπακάλης. «Α, τον κακομοίρη», ψιθύρισε. Κακομοίρης είσαι και φαίνεσαι, ήθελα να του πω. Μ’ άγγιξε στο κεφάλι, σαν να με ευλογούσε: «Κακομοίρικο». Την ίδια χρονιά έγινα φίλη με την κόρη του. Κάθε Κυριακή μας πήγαινε στον κινηματογράφο και βλέπαμε ελληνικές ταινίες. Ήθελε να κάθεται δίπλα μου για να με αγγίζει στο γόνατο. Ώσπου δεν άντεξα και τον είπα ανώμαλο. Έτσι τέλειωσε και η φιλία μου με την κόρη του. Κι είχε μετά να λέει για το πόσο αχάριστη είμαι. Αυτός που με κερνούσε γκαζόζα και με συμπονούσε, την ορφανή. «Τι έκανα τόσην ώρα, που γύριζα;» Έδωσα στην γειτόνισσα που με περίμενε στην πόρτα το πακέτο. Κι αυτή μάνι μάνι θα τρύπωνε ένα μαξιλαράκι. Θα το γέμιζε νεραντζανθούς και θα ακουμπούσαμε εκεί, στην ευωδιά, τα χέρια του πατέρα. Κάθισα πάλι δίπλα στο φέρετρο. «Τα βασανισμένα τα χέρια σου, αδελφέ μου», φώναξε η θεία Αγγελικώ, έπειτα μ’ έπιασε από τις πλεξούδες. Την άφησα με σκυμμένο κεφάλι να με χτυπάει. Έκλαιγα, αλλά το κλάμα μου ακουγόταν αλλιώς. Με το βλέμμα καρφωμένο στα λεπτεπίλεπτα καινουργή μαύρα λουστρίνια μου. Δεν το ήξερα τότε, το διαισθανόμουν όμως, ότι θα έμεναν άφθαρτα στη μνήμη μου για να μου τονίζουν πως η ζωή είναι αποκλειστικά δική μας ευθύνη.

THE BLACK PATENT LEATHER SHOES Maro Douka Rendered by Vassilis C. Militsis The coffin lay in the middle of the room. My brother and I, standing side by side, were supposed to be weeping. “Go on weeping as much as you can,” they would urge us; “weep over your father, poor orphans.” And we kept on wailing “father, father.” Afterwards, Aunt Angeliko handed me a hundred drachmas telling me; “Run over to Vardoule’s and fetch half a yard of funeral velvet.” As I was walking past the open lot by the amusement park, I paused dawdling. A few years later an outdoor cinema was going to be built there. Its dark entrance at Saturday evenings in winter would become a refuge for petting and kissing. It was raining and flashing as we first hugged silently, and then we took to whispering: “I adore you; I can’t live without you.” I met a little boy, barefoot, and called it by me. I paid for a ride on the manual swing boats in the park. We got onto the small, blue boat and pulled hard at the ropes singing at the top of our voices.  There was a small ship Sailing on her virgin trip Ohe, oheee. Years later, the barefooted boy would become a plumber whom my best school friend would fall in love with. I was going to approach him one afternoon and hand over a love letter in behalf of her, as she was too timid for such a venture. They eloped the following year amid much clamor. In the end, their parents yielded and married them off. One morning I paid her a visit and found her in tears. He had beaten her because she did not iron his shirt properly. After that, I would push on her to divorce him. One day he waited for me after work and threatened to tear me apart if carry on putting ideas into his wife’s head. “Don’t you ever dare to set foot in our house again, do you hear?” I never did. Ten years later my friend died.   I bought a red lollipop and was licking it. I walked through the Market, climbed down the steps, sat down, and relished doughnuts until was full. I paused in front of the shoe-shop window. I stepped inside and asked to try on the black patents leather shoes I had seen in the window. I put them on and felt proud. I asked how much they cost; eighty drachmas because they were a pair of luxury. I counted the sum and handed it over. They offered to wrap them up but I refused to take them off. So they wrapped the stretched double soled pair I was wearing. I got rid of them at the next corner. I greeted Mr. Vardoules. I told him I had lost a hundred drachmas and my father had passed away and I wondered if he could give me a piece of funeral purple velvet. “Don’t cry, kid.” He took down the bale from the shelf, unrolled it and measured with a wooden stick half a yard, cut off the material at the selvage with a big pair of scissors – ‘it’s double layered,’ he said – and vigorously ripped it apart. I asked about the price. “Sixty drachmas,” he replied, “but it’s free for your dad – I knew him, a good guy.” I begged him to give me the change from the allegedly lost money. He looked at me as though I had slapped him. “Mr. Vardoules,” I explained, “if I go back without the change, they’ll knock the tar out of me.” He reluctantly opened the cash desk drawer and counted forty drachmas to me. “Watch out not to lose it, either.” I thanked him and went my way. Two years later, Mr. Vardoules lost his business on craps and ended up a peddler in the province.   I was flaunting my patent leather shoes every so often until I reached the Shoe-shine shops by the Market. I also saw the street photographer. I approached him and asked for my picture to be taken. I left my packet of velvet on the ramshackle table and took a posing stance. Next to me the horse of a coach was wagging his tail to chase away the flies that were pestering it. Three fake cherries adorned its floppy hat. A little further on, the old shoe-shiner was singing; Riri-riri-ririka. I stood right in front of the camera eye waiting. I felt as though I was watching my life racing by and the city changing. Seven years later, I would leave it. When I came back, coachmen, shoe-shiners, street photographers would all be dead, but the Market grounds would be embellished. I was shaking the photo to dry it while, light-footed and smug, I was watching my picture. I was eleven and frowning. I had my forelocks stuck with lemon on my temples, because I wanted my forehead to be free. When did I have the time to tie my black bows at my pigtails? And where did I find my black socks? The beige cute coat, lined on the round collar, the cuffs and the false pockets with honey colored velvet, was my first coat. A week later, my mother put it in the boiling cauldron to dye it black. All things in the house were dyed black and endured, except for my little coat; it didn’t. She drained it in the boiling so much that it no longer fit me. And I was left without a coat. However, I had saved my first patent leather shoes. From around the corner I heard my mother wailing and lamenting. I unbuttoned my coat and hid the photo inside my shirt. On the light post I spotted the funeral notice, stuck askew with flour paste. I paused and read it. I was pleased with its decorum. My father’s name was printed with big, clear letters. I was only annoyed by the caption 62 years of age. Was my father really that old? I refused to accept it. A neighbor, the grocer, stopped by me. “Oh, the poor man!” he whispered. I was about to say that he was a poor man and he showed so. He touched me lightly on the head, as if he was blessing me; “Poor creature,” he said.   In that year I befriended his daughter. Every Sunday he would take us to the movies and watched Greek films. He made it a habit to sit next to me and touch my knee; until I couldn’t stand it any longer and called him a pervert. In this way my friendship with his daughter ended. But he went on saying how ungrateful I had been. He treated me to soft drinks because he felt pity on the poor orphan. “What had I been doing all this time I was fooling around?” I gave the packet to the neighbor woman who was waiting for me. And she would sew the piece of velvet around a cushion. She would fill it with tangerine blossoms and then it could be placed under the hands of my dead father. “Your tormented hands, dearest brother,” moaned Aunt Angeliko, who afterwards grabbed me by the pigtails. I let her beat me, my head bowed. I was crying but my weeping had a different nuance. I was staring intently at my delicate, new, black patent leather shoes. Then I didn’t know, but I sensed it, that that pair of those shoes would be indelible in my memory in order to point out that life is exclusively our own responsibility.

19th of MAY - BLACK LETTER ANNIVERSARY: THE GREEK GENOCIDE OF THE PONTUS

 

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• BLACK LETTER ANNIVERSARIES - THE GREEK PONTIAN GEN...

ΕΝΤΓΚΑΡ Α. ΠΟΕ ΓΙΑ ΤΗ ΔΗΜΟΚΡΑΤΙΑ - E.A.POE'S COMMENTS ON DEMOCRACY

 

Mellonta Tauta   Edgar Allan Poe’s short story, Mellonta Tauta was originally published in 1849.   It is presented as a collection of letters written by a woman during a balloon flight in 2848. Within the letters—directed to a personal friend—she compares contemporary science, philosophy, and customs to those of a thousand years previous, but frequently misinterprets and misunderstands the historic ideas and traditions to the point of absurdity. Hilarious and thought-provoking      Edgar Allan Poe ON BOARD BALLOON “SKYLARK,” April 1, 2848.   I am almost devoured by ennui. Pundit is the only conversible person on board; and he, poor soul! can speak of nothing but antiquities. He has been occupied all the day in the attempt to convince me that the ancient Amriccans governed themselves! — did ever anybody hear of such an absurdity? — that they existed in a sort of every-man-for-himself confederacy, after the fashion of the “prairie dogs” that we read of in fable. He says that they started with the queerest idea conceivable, viz: that all men are born free and equal — this in the very teeth of the laws of gradation so visibly impressed upon all things both in the moral and physical universe. Every man “voted,” as they called it — that is to say, meddled with public affairs — until, at length, it was discovered that what is everybody’s business is nobody’s, and that the “Republic” (so the absurd thing was called) was without a government at all. It is related, however, that the first circumstance which disturbed, very particularly, the self-complacency of the philosophers who constructed this “Republic,” was the startling discovery that universal suffrage gave opportunity for fraudulent schemes, by means of which any desired number of votes might at any time be polled, without the possibility of prevention or even detection, by any party which should be merely villainous enough not to be ashamed of the fraud. A little reflection upon this discovery sufficed to render evident the consequences, which were that rascality must predominate — in a word, that a republican government could never be anything but a rascally one. While the philosophers, however, were busied in blushing at their stupidity in not having foreseen these inevitable evils, and intent upon the invention of new theories, the matter was put to an abrupt issue by a fellow of the name of Mob, who took everything into his own hands and set up a despotism, in comparison with which those of the fabulous Zeros and Hellofagabaluses were respectable and delectable. This Mob (a foreigner, by the by), is said to have been the most odious of all men that ever encumbered the earth. He was a giant in stature — insolent, rapacious, filthy; had the gall of a bullock with the heart of a hyena and the brains of a peacock. He died, at length, by dint of his own energies, which exhausted him. Nevertheless, he had his uses, as everything has, however vile, and taught mankind a lesson which to this day it is in no danger of forgetting — never to run directly contrary to the natural analogies. As for Republicanism, no analogy could be found for it upon the face of the earth — unless we except the case of the “prairie dogs,” an exception which seems to demonstrate, if anything, that democracy is a very admirable form of government — for dogs.   Δες τη μετάφραση όλου του διηγήματος Μέλλοντα Ταύτα: Δημοσθένης Κούρτοβικ   By the same: ·  EDGAR ALLAN POE - Η ΕΜΜΟΝΗ ΤΟΥ ΚΑΛΛΙΤΕΧΝΗ ·  FROM THE GIANT OF AMERICAN LITERATURE - EDGAR ALLA... ·  OI ΓΙΓΑΝΤΕΣ ΤΗΣ ΑΜΕΡΙΚΑΝΙΚΗΣ ΠΟΙΗΣΗΣ - EDGAR ALLAN..

Μέλλοντα Ταύτα (1849) Έντγκαρ Άλλαν Πόε   Είναι ένα σατιρικό διήγημα επιστημονικής φαντασίας του, που παρουσιάζεται ως επιστολή γραμμένη από μια γυναίκα, την Pundit, πάνω σε ένα αερόστατο το έτος 2848. Το έργο περιγράφει ένα φουτουριστικό μέλλον, χλευάζοντας την "πρωτόγονη" λογική του 19ου αιώνα, την αμερικανική δημοκρατία και την τυφλή πίστη στην πρόοδο. Η αφήγηση γίνεται μέσω επιστολών που γράφονται κατά τη διάρκεια ενός ταξιδιού με το αερόστατο "Skylark", 1.000 χρόνια στο μέλλον. Η πρωταγωνίστρια σχολιάζει περιφρονητικά το παρελθόν (τη δική μας εποχή), αναφέροντας πώς οι άνθρωποι πίστευαν λανθασμένα στη δημοκρατία και τη λογική, ενώ η κοινωνία του 2848 κυβερνάται από έναν απόλυτο μονάρχη.   ΣΤΟ ΑΕΡΟΣΤΑΤΟ ΣΙΤΑΡΗΘΡΑ, 1 Aπριλίου, 2848 (ΑΠΟΣΠΑΣΜΑ) Rendered by Vassilis C. Militsis Η πλήξη μ’ έχει σχεδόν καταβάλει. Ο Πάντιτ είναι το μόνο συζητήσιμο άτομο στο αερόστατο. Αλλά ο καημένος δεν μιλάει για τίποτε άλλο από αρχαία ιστορία. Όλη μέρα πασχίζει να με πείσει ότι οι αρχαίοι ‘Αμρεκάνοι’ είχαν αυτοκυβέρνηση! Έχει κανείς ακουστά μια τέτοια ανοησία; Ότι λειτουργούσαν σ’ ένα είδος ομοσπονδίας όπου υπήρχε ισότητα όλων των ατόμων, όπως οι Κυνόμυες (Prairie dogs) που διαβάζουμε στους μύθους. Ισχυρίζεται ότι πίστευαν στην πιο αλλόκοτη ιδέα που μπορεί να συλλάβει κανείς, δηλαδή ότι όλοι οι άνθρωποι έχουν γεννηθεί ελεύθεροι και ίσοι – πράγμα αντίθετο στους νόμους της διαβάθμισης τόσο ανεξίτηλα χαραγμένο  σε καθετί, τόσο στο ηθικό όσο και στο φυσικό σύμπαν. Κάθε άτομο ‘ψήφιζε’ – όπως ονόμαζαν αυτή την ενέργεια – δηλαδή επενέβαινε στις δημόσιες υποθέσεις – μέχρι που τελικά το αποτέλεσμα ήταν ότι η δουλειά του καθενός δεν ήταν δουλειά κανενός και ότι η ‘δημοκρατία’ (έτσι ονόμαζαν το παράλογο τούτο πράγμα) κατέληγε εντελώς σε  ακυβερνησία. Αναφέρεται, όμως, ότι το πρώτο γεγονός που αναταραξε, ιδιαίτερα, τον εφησυχασμό των φιλοσόφων που δημιούργησαν αυτή τη «δημοκρατία» ήταν η ανησυχητική ανακάλυψη ότι αυτή η καθολική ψηφοφορία έδινε την ευκαιρία για δόλια σχέδια, μέσω των οποίων κάθε επιθυμητός αριθμός ψήφων θα μπορούσε κάθε φορά να συγκεντρωθεί, χωρίς τη δυνατότητα παρέμβασης ή ακόμη ανίχνευσης, από οποιοδήποτε κόμμα που θα ήταν αρκετά αισχρό να μην αισχύνεται για την απάτη. Λίγος προβληματισμός σε σχέση μ’ αυτή την ανακάλυψη αρκούσε να καταστήσει εμφανείς τις συνέπειες οι οποίες απέρρεαν από το γεγονός της επικράτησης αυτής της αχρειότητας – εν ολίγοις, μια δημοκρατική κυβέρνηση δεν θα μπορούσε να είναι άλλη από μια αχρεία κυβέρνηση. Ενώ, όμως, οι φιλόσοφοι άρχισαν να κοκκινίζουν από ντροπή για την ανοησία τους που δεν προέβλεψαν αυτό το αναπόφευκτο κακό και αποφασισμένοι να βρουν καινούργιες θεωρίες, το πρόβλημα τέθηκε σε άμεση διαβούλευση από κάποιο μέλος ονόματι Όχλος (Mob), ο οποίος ανέλαβε όλη την ευθύνη εγκαθιστώντας ένα είδος δεσποτισμού, συγκρινόμενος με τον οποίο εκείνος του μυθικού Ηλιογάβαλου ήταν πιο σεβαστός και ευχάριστος. Τούτος ο Όχλος (ξένος, ειρήσθω εν παρόδω), λέγεται ότι ήταν ο πιο μισητός απ’ όλους τους ανθρώπους που έχουν ποτέ υπάρξει άχθος αρούρης. Ήταν γιγαντόσωμος – θρασύς, άρπαγας και φαύλος. Είχε τη χολή ενός ταύρου, την καρδιά μιας ύαινας και το μυαλό ενός παγωνιού. Τελικά πέθανε από τις δικές του ενέργειες που τον είχαν εξαντλήσει. Παρόλα ταύτα, ωφέλησε, όπως καθετί χυδαίο άλλωστε, επειδή έδωσε στην ανθρωπότητα ένα μάθημα, το οποίο μέχρι τις μέρες μας δεν υπάρχει περίπτωση να ξεχαστεί: Να μην εναντιωνόμαστε στις φυσικές αναλογίες. Όσον αφορά τη Δημοκρατία, δεν βρίσκεται καμιά αναλογία επί προσώπου γης – εκτός κι αν εξαιρέσουμε τους κυνόμυς ‘prairie dogs’, πράγμα που φαίνεται να αποδεικνύει ότι η δημοκρατία είναι ένα αξιοθαύμαστο σύστημα διακυβέρνησης για τρωκτικά. By the same EDGAR ALLAN POE - Η ΕΜΜΟΝΗ ΤΟΥ ΚΑΛΛΙΤΕΧΝΗ FROM THE GIANT OF AMERICAN LITERATURE - EDGAR ALLA... OI ΓΙΓΑΝΤΕΣ ΤΗΣ ΑΜΕΡΙΚΑΝΙΚΗΣ ΠΟΙΗΣΗΣ - EDGAR ALLAN... ΤΟ ΤΑΞΙΔΙ ΤΟΥ ΧΑΜΟΥ- E.A.POE Η ΦΡΙΚΗ ΤΗΣ ΙΕΡ "The Masque of the Red Death" Edgar Allan Poe AUDI... ΕΚΔΙΚΗΣΗ - ΤΟ ΒΑΡΕΛΑΚΙ ΜΕ ΤΟ ΑΜΟΝΤΙΓΙΑΔΟ ΑΣ ΕΞΕΤΑΣΗΣ - E.A.POE OBSESSION - THE TELL-TALE HEART ·         ULALUME ·         SONNET - TO SCIENCE TO HELEN

H ΕΠΙΤΟΜΗ ΤΟΥ ΜΙΚΡΟΑΣΤΙΣΜΟΥ - THE EPITOME OF PETTY BOURGEOISIE ΙΝ 19th CENTURY GREECE

 

Η ΟΙΚΟΓΕΝΕΙΑ ΔΙΑΣΚΕΔΑΖΕΙ Χαράλαμπος Άννινος   Ὁ κ. Ζαχαρίας Παραδαρμένος εἶνε ἔγγαμος, ἐτῶν 55, ἀπολαύει τοῦ δικαιώματος τῆς Ἑλληνικῆς ἰθαγενείας, ὡς γεννηθεὶς ὑπὸ γονέων κλπ. Εἶνε ἀρχαῖος εἰρηνοδίκης, ἔχων σύνταξιν ἐκ δραχ. 73.27. Κερδίζει ἄλλας τόσας περίπου, διοριζόμενος, χάρις εἰς τὸ ἀρχαῖόν του ἀξίωμα, ἐκτιμητὴς ὑπὸ τοῦ δικαστηρίου, καὶ−ἀλλὰ τοῦτο νὰ μένῃ μεταξύ μας, ἐπειδή ὁ κ. Ζαχαρίας δὲν ἐπιθυμεῖ νὰ γίνῃ γνωστὸν−ἑτέρας 50 δραχμὰς περίπου κατὰ μῆνα, ἀντιγράφων κατ' οἶκον δικαστικὰ ἔγγραφα, τὰ ὁποῖα τοῦ δίδει δικηγόρος τις, ὅστις πρὸ δεκαπέντε ἐτῶν εἶχεν ὑπάρξει δεύτερος ἐξάδελφος τῆς κυρίας Παραδαρμένου, συχνάζων κατὰ συγγενικὸν καθῆκον εἰς τὴν οἰκίαν, καθ' ἥν ἐποχὴν ὁ σύζυγος ἐξετέλει τὴν ἐλλειπτικὴν τροχιάν, εὑρισκόμενος ὑπὸ τὸν ἀστερισμὸν τοῦ Αἰγόκερω. Διὰ τῶν πόρων τούτων κατορθώνει ἡ οἰκογένεια νὰ καταναλίσκῃ τὸ ἀνάλογον μέρος καθ' ἑκάστην τῶν θρεπτικῶν οὐσιῶν, αἵτινες ὥρισται ὑπὸ τῆς Προνοίας νὰ διέρχωνται διὰ τοῦ πεπτικοῦ σωλῆνος αὐτῆς, πρὶν νὰ φθάσουν εἰς τὴν μητέρα γῆν. Δὲν ἠξεύρω ὅμως ἄν διὰ λόγους ὑγιεινῆς ἤ ἕνεκα ὁρμῆς φυλετικῆς, ἡ οἰκογένεια προτιμᾷ ἰδίως τὰς φυτικὰς οὐσίας· ὁ δὲ γαΐδαρος τοῦ πλάνητος μανάβη, ὁσάκις διαβαίνει τὸ πρωῒ ἐκ τῆς ὁδοῦ, σταματᾷ αὐτομάτως πρὸ τῆς οἰκίας τοῦ κ. Ζαχαρίου, βέβαιος ὅτι θὰ ἐλαφρυνθῇ ἐκεῖθεν ἱκανῶς ἐκ τοῦ χλωροῦ φορτίου του. Ἡ γεωγραφικὴ θέσις τοῦ κ. Παραδαρμένου εἶνε ἡ ἑξῆς περίπου. Περιορίζεται πρὸς βορρᾶν ὑπὸ τοῦ κυλινδρικοῦ πίλου του, ἐνδόξως ἀγωνισθέντος κατὰ ἐννέα χειμώνων, καὶ φέροντος τὰ ἴχνη τῆς ἀνδρείας του, καὶ ὅστις, ἐνῷ ἐγνώρισε πάντας τοὺς δικολάβους τῆς Στερεᾶς καὶ τῆς Πελοποννήσου, οὐδέποτε ἠθέλησε νὰ σχετισθῇ καὶ μετά τινος ἐπιδιορθωτοῦ πίλων· πρὸς ἀνατολὰς ὑπὸ τῆς συζύγου του κυρίας Θεοδώρας καὶ τοῦ μικροῦ γόνου αὐτῆς Μιμίκου· πρὸς δυσμὰς ὑπὸ τῆς θυγατρός του Οὐρανίας, καὶ πρὸς νότον ὑπὸ τῆς ὑπηρετρίας Βασίλως καὶ τοῦ σκύλου του Μαύρου. Ὁ μαθηματικός ὁρισμὸς τῆς οἰκογενείας Παραδαρμένου εἶνε περίπου ὁ ἑξῆς. Θεοδώρα : Ζαχαρία+Μιμίκῳ+Οὐρανίᾳ+Βασίλῳ+Μαύρῳ : : 10 : 5, ὅπερ δηλοῖ ὅτι ἡ ἐν τῇ οἰκογενείᾳ ἀξία τῆς κ. Θεοδώρας εἶνε διπλασία τοῦ συνόλου τῆς ἀξίας πάσης τῆς λοιπῆς οἰκογενείας. Ἄς σκιαγραφήσωμεν τὰ πρόσωπα. Ἡ κ. Θεοδώρα−σχῆμα σφαιρικόν, πρόσωπον ἐπίπεδον. Ἐκ τῶν 45 ἐτῶν αὐτῆς ἐκράτησε 37, ἀγκυροβολήσασα εἰς αὐτά, καὶ μὴ ἐννοοῦσα νὰ ἐξέλθῃ. Αἱ δύο πλευραὶ αυτῆς, εἰς ἱκανὴν ἀπόστασιν ἀπ' ἀλλήλων κείμεναι καὶ στερούμεναι μέσων συγκοινωνίας, δὲν ἔχουν πολλὰς σχέσεις, καὶ ἡ μία ἀγνοεῖ τί πράττει ἡ ἄλλη. Ἀγαπᾷ τὰ κοπλιμέντα, τὰς ὄρνιθας καὶ τὰ παγωτά. Ἡ δεσποινὶς Οὐρανία−κόρη χλωρωτική καὶ ἰσχνή, ὡς τὸ δημοκρατικὸν κόμμα· μύτη ἐπικίνδυνος, στόμα σουφρωτόν. Ἀγαπᾷ τὰς καραμέλας καὶ τὰ μυθιστορήματα. Ὁ Μιμῖκος−ἐτῶν ἐννέα, χρώματος μεταξὺ λάσπης καὶ σοκολάτας, μὲ δύο ὀφθαλμοὺς μεγάλους, μὲ δύο μυκτῆρας ἀείποτε καλλιρρόους, μὲ δύο γόνατα ἀείποτε χρωματισμένα. Ἀγαπᾷ τὰ πάντα, ὡς καὶ τὰ ἄωρα δαμάσκηνα τῆς γειτόνισσας, καὶ δὲν ἀγαπᾷ μόνον τὴν Κατήχησιν καὶ τὸ ρετσινόλαδον, τὸ ὁποῖον τακτικῶς τοῦ χορηγεῖ ὁ πατήρ, διότι ἀνὰ πᾶσαν δεκαπενθημερίαν ἔχει καὶ νέαν δυσπεψίαν. Ἡ Βασίλω−πρόσωπον στρογγύλον ὡς πανσέληνος, κολλημένον ἀμέσως εἰς τὸν κορμόν, ἄνευ τῆς ἐπεμβάσεως τοῦ λαιμοῦ, κόμη ἐν ἀταξίᾳ πάντοτε ὡς νεοσυλλέκτων τάγμα, φουστάνια κοντά, ποὺς φιλελεύθερος, μὴ ἀναγνωρίζων τὸν περιορισμὸν τοῦ ὑποδήματος. Ἀγαπᾷ τὰ μπαρμπατσόνια καὶ τὰ κοκκινογούλια. Ὁ κ. Ζαχαρίας ἐκέρδησεν ἐκτάκτως πρὸ δύο ἡμερῶν ἐκ μιᾶς ἐκτιμήσεως 33 δραχμάς· ἐπειδὴ δὲ εἶχεν ὑποσχεθῆ εἰς τὴν οἰκογένειαν μίαν διασκέδασιν, μετὰ τὸν οἰκονομολογικὸν τοῦτον θρίαμβον, ἐγένοντο διαβούλια περὶ τοῦ εἴδους τῆς διασκεδάσεως. Ὁ κ. Ζαχαρίας ἐπρότεινε νὰ μεταβοῦν δι' ἁμάξης εἰς τὴν Κηφισσιάν, ὅπου ἐγνώριζεν ἕνα κουμπάρον, ν' αγοράσουν τὰ τρόφιμα καὶ νὰ πάρουν μαζί των καὶ τὴν Βασίλω διὰ νὰ τὰ μαγειρεύσῃ, ἀφοῦ δὲ ἤθελον διέλθει τὴν ἡμέραν εἰς τὴν ἐξοχήν, νὰ ἐπιστρέψουν τὴν ἑσπέραν πεζοί. Ἡ Οὐρανία, ἅμα ἤκουσε τὴν ρωμαντικὴν ταύτην διασκέδασιν, ἐχαμήλωσε τὰ μάτια καὶ ἐστέναξεν. Ὁ Μιμῖκος ἐπρότεινε ν' ἀγοράσουν ἕνα ταψὶ μπακλαβάδες καὶ ἕνα καλάθι ροδάκινα. Ἀλλ' ἡ κυρία Θεοδώρα ἐπεμβᾶσα ἐπισήμως διεκήρυξεν ὅτι, ἐπειδὴ εἶχεν ἀκούσει παρὰ μιᾶς φιλενάδας της, τῆς ὁποίας ἡ γυναικαδέλφη εἶχε μεταβῆ μίαν ἑσπέραν εἰς τὸν Ἀπόλλωνα ὅτι ὁ Φαῦστος ἔπαιξε περίφημα τὴν Τραβιάταν, διὰ τοῦτο ἔπρεπε νὰ ὑπάγουν τὴν Κυριακὴν τὸ βράδυ εἰς τὸν Ἀπόλλωνα καὶ δὲν θέλει ἄλλα λόγια. Ἤδη ἀπὸ τοῦ Σαββάτου λοιπὸν τὰ πάντα ἦσαν ἄνω κάτω εἰς τὸ σπίτι. Ἡ κυρία Θεοδώρα ἐτακτοποίει ἕν φόρεμα μελιτζανί, τὸ ὁποῖον, ὡς ἡ ἱερὰ σημαία τοῦ Προφήτου, ἐξεθάπτετο μόνον εἰς ὡρισμένας ἡμέρας ἀπὸ τοῦ κιβωτίου, παραστὰν ὡς μάρτυς καθ' ἁπάσας τὰς ἐπισήμους περιστάσεις τῆς οἰκογενείας Παραδαρμένου. Ἡ δεσποινὶς Οὐρανία ἔστεκε πολλάκις πρὸ τοῦ κατόπτρου, στριφογυρίζουσα τὸ πρόσωπον διὰ νὰ ἴδῃ εἰς ποίαν στάσιν ἡ μύτη της ἐφαίνετο ὀλιγώτερον σουβλερή. Ἡ Βασίλω ἀφοῦ ἐκαθάρισε τεσσαράκοντα ἑπτὰ κολοκύνθια, ἔπλυνεν ἕνα πανταλόνι τοῦ κ. Ζαχαρίου, χρώματος κιτρίνου. Ὁ Μιμῖκος ἐζήτει ἐπιμόνως νὰ μάθῃ ἄν ἐντὸς τοῦ θεάτρου ἐπώλουν κουραμπιέδες, ἔτρεχε δέ δι' ὅλης τῆς ἡμέρας εἰς τὸν δρόμον, πετροβολῶν τὴν δαμασκηνέαν τοῦ ἀντικρὺ κήπου, ὅτε δὲ εἰσήρχετο εἰς τὸ σπίτι, ἔκοπτε πάντοτε ὑπερμέγεθες τεμάχιον ἄρτου, πρὸς μεγίστην ἀπελπισίαν τῆς κ. Θεοδώρας. Τὸ ἑσπέρας, ὅτε ἦλθεν ὁ κ. Ζαχαρίας, παρεκάθησαν εἰς τὸ δεῖπνον, καὶ μετὰ τοῦτο ἐξῆλθον πρὸ τῆς οἰκίας, ἀφόβως καὶ ἀπαθῶς τὴν ἑσπέραν ἐκείνην, διότι ἀπὸ πρωΐας εἶχον πληρώσει τὰ ὀφειλόμενα εἰς τὸν ἀντικρυνὸν μπακάλην. Πρὸ τῆς θύρας τῆς οἰκίας ἦτο συνήθεια νὰ γίνεται μικρὰ συναναστροφή, εἰς ἥν ἐλάμβανε μέρος εἷς ἀπόστρατος ἀνθυπασπιστής, μία μαῖα καὶ μία σύζυγος δικαστικοῦ κλητῆρος. Ἡ κ. Θεοδώρα ἔστρεψεν ἐπίτηδες τὴν συνομιλίαν εἰς τὸ θέμα τῶν διασκεδάσεων, διὰ νὰ ἀναγγείλῃ εἰς τὴν ὁμήγυριν τὴν μεγάλην ἀπόφασιν. Ὁ γέρων ἀνθυπασπιστὴς ἐγρύλλισεν, εἰπὼν ὅτι προτιμᾷ ἕν ἑκατοστάρικον ρητινίτου ἀπὸ τὸ καλλίτερον θέατρον τοῦ κόσμου. Ἡ σύζυγος τοῦ κλητῆρος εἶπεν ὅτι μίαν ἡμέραν κατὰ τύχην μετέβη εἰς τὸ Φάληρον μετά τινος κυρίας, ὅπου εἶδε τὰς γαλλίδας δεικνυούσας τὸν πόδα γυμνὸν μέχρι τοῦ μηροῦ καὶ ἐσταυροκοπήθη. Τότε παρεμβὰς ὁ κ. Ζαχαρίας ἀνέφερεν ὅτι πρὸ ἕνδεκα ἐτῶν εἶχεν ἴδει εἰς ἕν μέρος τῆς Πελοποννήσου ἕνα τῶν σπουδαιοτέρων θεατρικῶν θιάσων, συγκείμενον ἐκ τριῶν ἄρκτων καὶ τεσσάρων πιθήκων, ἐπρόσθεσε δὲ ὅτι το θέατρον εἶνε ἡ διανοητικὴ συγχρώτισις τῆς ἀλληλουχίας τοῦ πνεύματος, συνδυαζομένη μετὰ τῆς συνθηματικῆς ἀποσκιρτήσεως τοῦ ἀνθρωπίνου γένους. Μὲ αὐτὴν τὴν γλῶσσαν ὡμίλει συνήθως κατὰ τὰς ἐπισήμους στιγμὰς ὁ κ. Ζαχαρίας, τὴν δὲ γνώμην ταύτην ἐπεδοκίμασεν ἡ μαῖα, κλίνουσα ἐπανειλημμένως τὴν κεφαλήν. Μετὰ τὴν λέσχην ἡ συναναστροφὴ διελύθη, ἡ δὲ οἰκογένεια εἰσῆλθεν ἐντὸς τοῦ οἴκου. Τὴν ἑσπέραν ἐκείνην εἶχε λάβει πρὸς ἀντιγραφὴν δεκατρία ἔγγραφα, καὶ ὅτε ἡ ἐργασία ἦτο ὑπερβάλλουσα, ἡ ἀξιέραστος Οὐρανία ἐσυνήθιζε νὰ βοηθῇ τὸν γεννήτορα, ἀντιγράφουσα καὶ αὐτή. Ὁ Μιμῖκος ἐκάθητο πλησίον των μελετῶν τὸ μάθημα τῆς Κατηχήσεως, ἀλλ' εἰς τὸ πνεῦμά του ἀνεκυκᾶτο ἡ ἰδέα τοῦ θεάτρου καὶ τῶν κουραμπιέδων. Ὁ κ. Ζαχαρίας ὑπαγορεύει: − «Ὁ ἀντίδικος διὰ τῆς ἀπὸ 11 Μαρτίου ἐφέσεώς του…» Αἴφνης ὁ Μιμῖκος διακόπτει. − Μπαμπᾶ, διατί λέγεται Σύμβολον τῆς Πίστεως; − Σύμβολον τῆς Πίστεως λέγεται διότι συμβάλλει εἰς τήν Χριστιανικὴν πίστιν, ἥτις διαιρεῖται εἰς τὴν Κατήχησιν καὶ τὴν Χρηστομάθειαν …τὸ ὁποῖον τὰ καλὰ παιδία δὲν πρέπει νὰ σκοτίζουν τὸν πατέρα των, ὅταν γράφῃ… «ἐφέσεως ἐνώπιον τῶν ἐν Παρνασσίδι…» Ὁ Μιμῖκος ψιθυρίζει ἀποστηθίζων. − Τὸ Σύμβολον τῆς Πίστεως διαιρεῖται εἰς ἄρθρα… Αἰφνιδίως ἀποτεινόμενος πρὸς τὸν κ. Ζαχαρίαν λέγει ὑψηλοφώνως. − Μπαμπᾶ, ἐχθὲς εἶδα ποῦ ἐκόλλησαν ἕνα χαρτὶ κόκκινο καὶ ἔλεγε «Ριγολέττος». Τί θὰ εἰπῇ Ριγολέττος; − «Τῶν ἐν Παρνασσίδι Πρωτοδικῶν…» Ριγολέττος εἶνε λέξις σύνθετος. Ριγῶ ἑλληνιστὶ σημαίνει κρυόνῳ, letto δὲ ἰταλιστὶ σημαίνει κρεββάτι. Ἄρα Ριγολέττος εἶνε ἐκεῖνος, ὅστις κρυόνει εἰς τὸ κρεββάτι. − Ἄς σκεπασθῇ μὲ τὸ πάπλωμα, λέγει ἡ κ. Θεοδώρα παρακαθημένη καὶ πλέκουσα κάλτσαν. Καὶ ἡ Βασίλω, ἀκούσασα ἀπέρχεται καγχάζουσα διὰ τὴν ἀστειότητα ταύτην τῆς κυρίας της. Καὶ οὕτως ἐξακολουθεῖ ἡ σκηνὴ μέχρις ὅτου ὁ μὲν Μιμῖκος ἀποκοιμᾶται ἐπὶ τῆς τραπέζης καὶ φέρεται ὑπὸ τῆς μητρός του εἰς τὴν κλίνην, ἡ δεσποινὶς Οὐρανία θέτει τὸ τελευταῖον «πληρεξούσιος δικηγόρος». Ἡ οἰκογένεια τότε κατακλίνεται. Τὴν ἐπαύριον ἅμα τῇ ἐξεγέρσει ἐπικρατεῖ ἀληθὴς ἀναστάτωσις ἐν τῇ οἰκίᾳ. Ἡ κυρία Θεοδώρα ἠγέρθη ἐπίτηδες πρωῒ καὶ μετέβη εἰς τὴν ἐκκλησίαν ὅπως ἐπιδείξῃ τὸ μελιτζανί, εὗρε δὲ ταυτοχρόνως τὸν τρόπον μεταξὺ δύο σταυροκοπημάτων ν' ἀναγγείλῃ τὴν ἔκτακτον ἀπόφασιν εἰς μίαν φίλην. Μετὰ τὴν ἐπάνοδόν της ἐκ τῆς ἐκκλησίας ὁ κ. Ζαχαρίας ἐξέρχεται ὅπως ἀγοράσῃ τὰ εἰσιτήρια. Ἡ κ. Θεοδώρα προβαίνουσα ἀπὸ τοῦ παραθύρου φωνάζει εἰς τὸν σύζυγόν της μεγαλοφώνως διὰ ν' ἀκουσθῇ ὑπὸ τῶν γειτόνων, νὰ ἐκλέξῃ τέσσαρα καλὰ εἰσιτήρια, καὶ νὰ εἶνε μεσαῖα, διότι αὐτὰ τῆς ἀρέσουν. Ὁ κ. Ζαχαρίας στρέφεται καὶ τὴν καθησυχάζει. Ὁ πῖλός του ὑπὸ τὰς ἀκτῖνας τοῦ ἡλίου ἀποκτᾷ χροιὰν αἱματόχρουν, τὸ δὲ πανταλόνιόν του θαμβώνει τὸν κόσμον, ἀντανακλῶν τὸν ἥλιον, ὡς κάτοπτρον. Ὑπὸ ζέστην 36 βαθμῶν μεταβαίνει εἰς τὸν Ἀπόλλωνα, ἀλλ' ἐκεῖ μανθάνει ὅτι κατὰ τὴν ὥραν ἐκείνην τὰ εἰσιτήρια πωλοῦνται εἰς τὸν Παρθενῶνα. Ἐπιστρέφει λοιπὸν βλασφημῶν, ὀπτὸς ὡς ροσπίφ, καὶ ἀγοράζει τὰ εἰσιτήρια εἰς τὸν Παρθενῶνα καὶ φθάνει εἰς τὴν οἰκίαν περίρρυτος ἐκ τοῦ ἱδρῶτος, ὅστις διαφεύγει καὶ ἀνάμεσα ἀπὸ τὰ ὑποδήματά του. Ἡ κ. Θεοδώρα παρατηροῦσα τὰ εἰσιτήρια καὶ βλέπουσα 95, 97 κλπ. ἀρχίζει νὰ ἐπιτιμᾷ τὸν σύζυγόν της ὅτι δὲν εἶνε κατὰ σειράν. Ὁ κ. Ζαχαρίας οὐδ' αὐτὸς δύναται νὰ ἐξηγήσῃ τὸ φαινόμενον· ἀλλ' ἐπειδή τὸν διεβεβαίωσαν ὅτι οἱ ἀριθμοὶ ἦσαν συνεχεῖς, ὑποθέτει ὅτι εἰς τὰ θέατρα, κατὰ τὸ νεώτερον σύστημα, κατήργησαν τοὺς διπλοῦς ἀριθμοὺς διὰ νὰ φαίνωνται περισσότεροι οἱ θεαταί. Ἡ ἡμέρα παρῆλθεν ἄνευ ἑτέρων ἐπεισοδίων. Μόνον σφοδρὰ λογομαχία ἠγέρθη περὶ τῆς αἰφνιδίου ἀπωλείας 30 λεπτῶν, προωρισμένων διὰ πετρέλαιον, ἅτινα εἶχε κλέψει ὁ Μιμῖκος καὶ ἐξοδεύσει ἤδη ἐξ αὐτῶν 15 διὰ ροδάκινα. Ἡ κυρία Θεοδώρα ὑπώπτευεν ὡς ἔνοχον τῆς κλοπῆς τὴν Βασίλων καὶ ἐπεφυλάσσετο νὰ κάμῃ τὴν ἐπαύριον τὰς ἀνακρίσεις, φοβουμένη μὴ τὴν ἡμέραν ἐκείνην ζητήσῃ ἡ ὑπηρέτρια νὰ φύγῃ, ἄν τῆς ἐγίνετο παρατήρησις, καὶ ματαιωθῇ οὕτως ἡ διασκέδασις. Ἡ δεσποινὶς Οὐρανία ἀνέγνωσεν εἴκοσι σελίδας τοῦ μυθιστορήματος, τὸ ὁποῖον ἀνεγίνωσκεν ὁλόκληρον τακτικῶς κατὰ διμηνίαν. Ἡ Βασίλω ἔχαιρε κρυφίως καὶ ἠγαλλία διότι ἔμελλε τὴν ἑσπέραν νὰ μείνῃ μόνη, πρᾶγμα σπάνιον καὶ ἀσύνηθες εἰς τὴν οἰκίαν ἐκείνην. Εἶχε δὲ λόγους νὰ χαίρῃ περισσότερον, διότι τὴν πρωΐαν μεταβᾶσα εἰς τοῦ μπακάλη πρὸς ἀγορὰν βουτύρου, ἀνήγγειλε γεγωνυίᾳ τῇ φωνῇ τὴν μέλλουσαν νυκτερινὴν ἔξοδον τῆς οἰκογενείας, καὶ τοῦτο καθότι εὑρίσκετο ἐντὸς Ἄνδριός τις ἐπίστρατος, συμπατριώτης, πολλάκις διὰ λόγων καὶ διὰ βλεμμάτων θερμῶν ἐκφράσας εἰς αὐτὴν τὴν φλόγα του, καὶ ὅστις ἐκέρασεν ἐπὶ τῷ ἀκούσματι 15 λεπτῶν μαστίχαν τοὺς συντρόφους του. Πρὸς τὸ ἑσπέρας ἡ οἰκογένεια κατὰ πάντα ἐνδεδυμένη καὶ καλλωπισμένη ἐδείπνησεν ἐν βίᾳ, διότι ἡ ὥρα τῆς ἀναχωρήσεως προσήγγιζεν. Ὁ κ. Ζαχαρίας δι' ὅλου τοῦ ἀπογεύματος κατείχετο ὑπὸ μελομανίας καὶ ἐξετέλεσεν ἑξάκις ταπεινοφώνως ἕν χερουβικόν. Εἰς τὴν τράπεζαν δὲν εἶχεν ὄρεξιν πολλήν, διὸ παρήγγειλεν εἰς τὴν Βασίλων νὰ τοῦ φυλάξῃ τὸ δεῖπνον, διὰ νὰ τὸ φάγῃ μετὰ τὸ θέατρον. Τέλος ἐξεκίνησαν ἐν πομπῇ καὶ παρατάξει μετὰ θορύβου τοιούτου, ὡς νὰ ἐξεκίνει διὰ τὰ σύνορα τοπομαχική πυροβολαρχία. Ἡ Βασίλω προέβη ἀπὸ τοῦ παραθύρου, στηριζομένη ἐπὶ τῶν χονδρῶν ἀγκώνων καὶ μειδιῶσα ἠλιθίως, ὁ δὲ κ. Ζαχαρίας ἐκ τῆς ὁδοῦ τῆς συνέστησε μεγαλοφώνως νὰ φυλάττῃ τὸ σπίτι, μὴ τύχῃ καὶ συμβῇ τίποτε. Οἱ γείτονες, ἡ μαῖα, ἡ σύζυγος τοῦ κλητῆρος, ὁ μπακάλης ἐπρόβαλλον ἀπὸ τοῦ παραθύρου, παριστάμεναι εἰς τὴν παρέλασιν. Ἡ κυρία Θεοδώρα ἐχαιρέτα ἐναβρυνομένη, ὁ δὲ κ. Ζαχαρίας ἐπροσπάθει νὰ καταβιβάσῃ τὸ κίτρινον πανταλόνιον, τὸ ὁποῖον βραχυνθὲν κατὰ τὸ πλύσιμον ἔφθανε μέχρι τοῦ μέσου τῆς κνήμης, ἀφίνον νὰ φαίνωνται ὁλόκληρα τὰ χάσματα τῶν ὑποδημάτων. Παρὰ τὸ κίτρινον πανταλόνιον ἤστραπτεν εἰς τὰς τελευταίας λάμψεις τοῦ λυκαυγοῦς τὸ μελιτζανὶ τῆς κυρίας Θεοδώρας καὶ τὰ δύο ἐφαίνοντο ἐντὸς τῆς ἀμφιλύκης ὡς φωτεινὰ μετέωρα, ἀπέναντι τῶν ὁποίων ὠχρία ἡ λευκὴ ἐσθὴς τῆς Οὐρανίας, περιπατούσης μὲ ὀφθαλμοὺς ἡμικλείστους καὶ διαγραφούσης καμπύλας διὰ τῆς ρινὸς εἰς τὸν ἀέρα. Ὁ Μιμῖκος ἐξηκολούθει ροκανίζων τεμάχιον ἄρτου, μὴ προφθάσας νὰ ρίψῃ τὴν τελευταίαν πέτραν κατὰ τῆς δαμασκηνέας. Ὁ σκύλος τῆς οἰκογενείας Μαῦρος ἡτοιμάσθη σαίνων τὴν οὐράν, νὰ τοὺς ἀκολουθήσῃ, ἀλλ' ὁ κ. Ζαχαρίας καὶ ὁ Μιμῖκος κατεδίωξαν αὐτὸν διὰ ραβδισμῶν καὶ λιθοβολισμῶν μέχρι τῆς οἰκίας. Ἀπὸ τὴν συνοικίαν τοῦ ἁγίου Κωνσταντίνου, ὅπου κατῴκουν, ἔφθασαν εἰς τὴν πλατεῖαν τῆς Ὁμονοίας. Ἐκεῖ ἡ κυρία Θεοδώρα, κατανοήσασα τὸ μῆκος τῆς ὁδοῦ, ἐξέφρασε τὴν ἐπιθυμίαν περὶ ἁμάξης. Ἀλλ' ὁ ἁμαξηλάτης, πρὸς ὅν ἀπετάθη ὁ κ. Ζαχαρίας δεικνύων ἐν τῇ παλάμῃ τέσσαρα εἰκοσιπενταράκια, ἀπήντησε μετὰ σπανίας εὐγενείας ὅτι ἠμποροῦσε νὰ τὰ κρεμάσῃ εἰς τὸν λαιμὸν τῆς γυναικός του. Ἡ ἀπάντησις ἐξῆψε τὴν ὀργὴν τοῦ κ. Ζαχαρίου καὶ τοῦ ἦλθεν ὄρεξις νὰ ἐκπλύνῃ δι' αἵματος τὴν ὕβριν. Ἀλλά, συλλογισθεὶς ὅτι ἄν συνέβαινέ τι εἰς τὸν ἡνίοχον, τὰ ἄλογα ἔμελλον νὰ μείνουν ὀρφανά, ἐκινήθη εἰς οἶκτον καὶ ὑπέμεινε χριστιανικῶς τὴν αὐθάδειαν. Ἤρχισαν λοιπὸν τὴν πεζοπορίαν ὑπὸ οἰωνοὺς κακούς, καὶ διὰ τοῦτο τὰ ἐπεισόδια καθ' ὁδὸν ἦσαν θλιβερά. Μία λεμονόκουπα ριφθεῖσα ὑπὸ μιᾶς μάγκας καθ' ἑτέρας, ἐπέτυχεν ἀπεναντίας καὶ κατεσπίλωσε τὸ μελιτζανὶ φόρεμα τῆς κυρίας Θεοδώρας, ἥτις ἀφῆκε κραυγήν λεαίνης πληγείσης. Ἐνῷ δὲ ὁ κ. Ζαχαρίας ἔστρεφε τὰ νῶτα διὰ νὰ παρατηρήσῃ, μικρὸς πωλητὴς τοῦ Ἐθνικοῦ Πνεύματος, ἐλαύνων ἀπὸ ρυτῆρος, συνεκρούσθη μετ' αὐτοῦ, καὶ ἐκ τοῦ τιναγμοῦ ὁ σεβάσμιος πῖλος ἔπεσε κατὰ γῆς, κυλιθεὶς ἐντὸς τοῦ βορβόρου. Ἡ μύτη τῆς δεσποινίδος Οὐρανίας, παρ' ὀλίγον συνεκρούετο μὲ μίαν ἅμαξαν. Ὁ Μιμῖκος κατὰ πάντα πέντε λεπτὰ ἠφανίζετο καθ' ὁδόν, ὅπως ἀγοράσῃ ἀχλάδια ἤ κώνους ἀραβοσίτου ὀπτούς, ἡ δὲ οἰκογένεια ἠναγκάζετο νὰ στέκῃ καὶ νὰ τὸν ἀναζητῇ μετὰ φωνῶν· τὴν τρίτην φορὰν μάλιστα οἱ σύζυγοι Παραδαρμένου ἤρχισαν ν' ἀνησυχοῦν σπουδαίως, διότι ὁ Μιμῖκος δὲν εὑρίσκετο. Ἡ κυρία Θεοδώρα ὠρύετο ὅτι τὸν κατεπλάκωσεν ἅμαξα· ὁ κ. Ζαχαρίας ἐγύριζεν ὡσὰν σβούρα κράζων τὸ τεκνίον καὶ ἐρωτῶν τοὺς διαβάτας. Ἐκ τοῦ κανθοῦ τοῦ ὀφθαλμοῦ τῆς δεσποινίδος Οὐρανίας ἕν δάκρυ ἐπειράθη νὰ ἐξέλθῃ ἐπὶ ματαίῳ. Τέλος ὁ ἄρρην ἀπόγονος τῆς οἰκογενείας Παραδαρμένου ἀνευρέθη ἐρίζων μετὰ τινος κουλουρτζῆ καὶ ζητῶν ν' ἀγοράσῃ τρεῖς κουλούρας ἀντὶ δέκα λεπτῶν. Ὁ κ. Ζαχαρίας συνέλαβεν αὐτὸν ἐκ τοῦ ὠτίου καὶ τὸ ἄκρον τοῦ πέλματός του ἀπετέθη τότε ὡς ἐξ ἐνστίκτου οὐχὶ πολὺ ἁπαλῶς ἐπὶ τῶν νώτων τοῦ γόνου αὐτοῦ. Τέλος, μεθ' ὅλας τὰς περιπετείας ταύτας, ἡ οἰκογένεια ἀφίκετο σῴα εἰς τὸν κῆπον τοῦ Ἀπόλλωνος. Ἠναγκάσθησαν νὰ περιμείνουν, διότι αἱ θύραι ἦσαν ἔτι κλεισμέναι· καὶ μετέβησαν περιπατοῦντες μέχρι τῆς γεφύρας τοῦ Ἰλισσοῦ. Ὁ κ. Ζαχαρίας ἔδειξεν εἰς τὴν οἰκογένειαν τὸ Στάδιον, ἐξηγήσας ὅτι εἰς τὴν ἀρχαιότητα ἔκειτο ἐκεῖ ἡ ὁδὸς Σταδίου, ἥτις εἶνε σήμερον παρακάτω, καὶ εἰς τὴν ἐρώτησιν τοῦ Μιμίκου ἀπήντησεν ὅτι ἐκαλεῖτο οὕτω, διότι καὶ οἱ ἀρχαῖοι συνείθιζον νὰ πίνωσι μισὴ στὰ δύο. Ἀφοῦ περιειργάσθησαν, ἐπέστρεψαν καὶ εἰσῆλθον εἰς τὸ θέατρον. Σύμπασα ἡ οἰκογένεια εἶχε καταστῆ ἐπιμήκης. Τὸ πρόσωπον τῆς κυρίας Θεοδώρας εἶχε καταβιβασθῆ· ἡ κοιλία τοῦ Μιμίκου εἶχε προεκταθῆ· ἡ μύτη τῆς δεσποινίδος Οὐρανίας εἶχε λάβει διαστάσεις τολμηρὰς ὡς τὸ κωδωνοστάσιον τοῦ Στρασβούργου. Τὸ μόνον πρᾶγμα, ὁποῦ εἶχε βραχυνθῆ, ἦτο τὸ κίτρινον πανταλόνιον τοῦ κ. Ζαχαρίου, φωσφορίζον ὑπὸ τὴν λάμψιν τοῦ φωταερίου. Ἐκάθησαν τέλος εἰς τὰ θρανία καὶ ἤρχισαν νὰ ρίπτουν περίεργα βλέμματα. Ὁ Μιμῖκος, διὰ νὰ εὕρῃ τὸ ἰδικόν του κάθισμα, ἤρχισε νὰ μετρᾷ μεγαλοφώνως τοὺς ἀριθμούς, πατῶν δεξιὰ καὶ ἀριστερὰ τοὺς παρακαθημένους, οἵτινες τὸν ἀπεδίωκον σπρώχνοντες μετ' ἀγανακτήσεως. Ἡ κυρία Θεοδώρα ἤρχισε νὰ παραπονῆται ὅτι τὸ φανάρι τὴν ἐμποδίζει νὰ βλέπῃ, και ἀπῄτει νὰ μεταβῇ ὁ σύζυγός της νὰ εἰπῇ νὰ τὸ ἐκβάλουν ἐκεῖθεν. Ἡ δεσποινὶς Οὐρανία, ἰδοῦσα δόκιμον στρατιωτικόν τινα ἰατρὸν καθήσαντα ὀλίγον ἀπωτέρω καὶ περιέργως ἐνατενίσαντα αὐτήν, ἀφῆκε στεναγμόν, ἐξυπνήσαντα γέροντά τινα παρ' αὐτὴν καθήμενον καὶ ὑπνώττοντα ἡσύχως. Κατ' ἀρχὰς ὡμίλουν ταπεινοφώνως, ἀλλ' ἅμα εἶδον ὅτι πάντες ὡμίλουν ὑψηλῇ τῇ φωνῇ, ἤρχισαν καὶ αὐτοὶ νὰ ὠρύωνται συνομιλοῦντες καὶ σχολιάζοντες. Ὁ κ. Ζαχαρίας ἐνθυμήθη τὴν Βασίλων, τί νὰ κάμνῃ κατ' ἐκείνην τὴν ὥραν. Ἀκούσασα τὸ ὄνομα τῆς ὑπηρετρίας, ἡ κυρία Θεοδώρα ἐνθυμήθη τὴν κλοπὴν τῶν τριάκοντα λεπτῶν καὶ πορφυρᾶ γενομένη ἐκ τῆς ὀργῆς, ἐδήλωσε μεγαλοφώνως ὅτι αὔριον θὰ τὴν πνίξῃ μὲ τὰ χέρια της. Τόσον δὲ φοβερὰ ἦσαν καὶ ἡ ὄψις της καὶ οἱ λόγοι της, ὥστε νέα κυρία, εἰσερχομένη κατ' ἐκείνην τὴν στιγμὴν εἰς τὴν αὐτὴν σειρὰν τῶν θρανίων, ἐτρόμαξε καὶ ἐφοβεῖτο νὰ προχωρήσῃ. Ὁ Μιμῖκος κατεβασάνιζε τὸν γεννήτορα δι' ἐρωτήσεων. − Μπαμπά, αὐτὸ ποῦ εἶνε ζωγραφισμένο εἶνε ἡ Τραβιάτα;… − Σιώπα, ἀνόητε· αὐταὶ εἶνε αἱ τρεῖς Χάριτες, ἤγουν ἡ Ἄτροπος, ἡ Κλεοπάτρα … καὶ ἡ Καλλιόπη. − Μπαμπά, διατί παίζει ἡ μουσική; − Ἡ μουσικὴ παίζει διὰ νὰ διασκεδάσουν αὐτοὶ ὁποῦ τραγῳδοῦν, καὶ διὰ νὰ ἀκούῃ ὁ κόσμος. − Μπαμπά, ἐκείνη εἶνε ἡ Καλλιόπη, ἡ κόρη τῆς κυρὰ−Χρήσταινας;… − Ἡ Καλλιόπη ἦτο βασίλισσα τῶν Ἀργοναυτῶν, καὶ σύζυγος τοῦ Οἰδίποδος, ἡ ὁποία … μοῦ ἐσκότισες τὸ κεφάλι! Τέλος ἡ αὐλαία ἀνεσύρθη. Ἡ οἰκογένεια Παραδαρμένου ἐπίστευεν ὅτι ἐδίδετο ἡ Τραβιάτα, ἐνῷ ἀπεναντίας παριστάνετο τὸ Ballo in Maschera. Ἑπομένως ἐζήτουν νὰ μάθουν ποῦ εἶνε ἡ Τραβιάτα. Ὅτε ἐτελείωσεν ἡ πρώτη πρᾶξις, ὁ κ. Ζαχαρίας ἀπεφάνθη δογματικῶς ὅτι αὐτὸ τὸ παιδί, ἐννοῶν τὸν Ὀσκάρ, ἔκαμε πολὺ καλὰ τὸ μέρος του. Μόλις ἐφάνη κατὰ τὴν δευτέραν πρᾶξιν ἡ Ἀμέλια, καὶ ἡ κυρία Θεοδώρα ἀνεβόησεν ὅτι αὐτὴ πρέπει νὰ ἦτο ἡ Τραβιάτα, ἀλλὰ δὲν τῆς ἐφαίνετο πολὺ φθισική, ὡς εἶχεν ἀκούσει παρὰ τῆς Οὐρανίας, ἥτις εἶχεν ἀναγνώσει τὸ μυθιστόρημα. Ἡ παρατήρησις αὕτη ὑψηλοφώνως γενομένη ἐν τῷ μέσῳ τῆς σιγῆς, ἐφείλκυσε τὴν προσοχὴν τῶν παρακαθημένων, στραφέντων καὶ παρατηρούντων αὐτοὺς μετὰ περιέργου μειδιάματος. Τέλος εἷς ἐξ αὐτῶν τοὺς ηὐσπλαγχνίσθη καὶ ἐξήγησεν εἰς τὸν κύριον Ζαχαρίαν τὸ λᾶθός των, ὁμιλήσας αὐτῷ περὶ τῶν μελοδραμάτων, τὰ ὁποῖα εἶχον δοθῆ εἰς τὸν Ἀπόλλωνα, διότι ἦτο θαμὼν τοῦ Ἀπόλλωνος, συχνάζων τακτικῶς πᾶσαν Κυριακήν, καὶ ἠθέλησε νὰ δείξῃ τὴν περὶ τὰ θεατρικὰ ὑπεροχήν του. Ὁ κ. Ζαχαρίας, προσέχων εἰς τὸ μελόδραμα καὶ ἀκούων ταυτοχρόνως τοὺς λόγους τοῦ κυρίου ἐκείνου, μετεβίβασε τὰς πληροφορίας ταύτας εἰς τὴν οἰκογένειαν, εἰπὼν ὅτι τὸ παριστανόμενον μελόδραμα δὲν ἦτο ἡ Τραβιάτα, ἀλλὰ τὸ Ballo in Maschera, ἤγουν Χορὸς Μεταχειρισμένων, εἰς τὸ ὁποῖον λαμβάνει μέρος ἡ Λίνδα, τῆς ὁποίας ὁ σύζυγος δὲν θέλει νὰ τῆς ἐπιτρέψῃ νὰ χορεύσῃ καὶ διὰ τοῦτο φονεύει τὸν καταστηματάρχην τοῦ χοροῦ, ἡ δὲ Λίνδα τρελλαίνεται. Ὁ Μιμῖκος ἠρώτησε πῶς τρελλαίνεται, ὁ δὲ κ. Ζαχαρίας ἀπήντησεν ὅτι ὁ ἐγκέφαλος τῆς ἀνθρωπίνης διανοίας εἶνε ἀφετηρία, δι' ἧς τὸ μουσικὸν αἴσθημα ἐγκαθίσταται εἰς τὸ πνεῦμα τοῦ ἀνθρώπου, ὅταν προσέχῃ εἰς τὸ μελόδραμα. Εἰς ἕν τῶν διαλειμμάτων ἡ οἰκογένεια ἠθέλησε νὰ ἐξέλθῃ ἔξω εἰς τὸν κῆπον. Ἐνῷ δὲ ἡτοιμάζοντο νὰ παρακαθήσουν εἰς ἕν τραπέζιον, ἤκουσαν φωνὰς γοεράς. Ἔδραμον καὶ εἶδον τὸν Μιμῖκον παλαίοντα μεταξὺ τῶν χειρῶν τοῦ καφεπώλου, διότι εἶχε φωραθῆ κλέπτων ἕν γλύκισμα. Ὁ πατήρ ἠναγκάσθη νὰ τὸ πληρώσῃ καὶ νὰ ἐλευθερώσῃ τὸν μικρὸν κλέπτην, φιλοδωρήσας αὐτὸν μέ τινα ραπίσματα. Ἡ σκηνὴ αὕτη ἐνέβαλε τὴν οἰκογένειαν εἰς μεγίστην σύγχυσιν καὶ ταραχήν. Ἡ κ. Θεοδώρα ἤρχισε νὰ καταρᾶται τὴν ὥραν. Ὁ κ. Ζαχαρίας παρ' ὀλίγον ἤρχετο εἰς χεῖρας μετὰ τοῦ ὑπηρέτου, διότι ὅτε ἐζήτησε νερά, ἐκεῖνος ἔφυγε χωρὶς κἄν νὰ δώσῃ ἀκρόασιν. Ἕνεκα τῆς ζάλης αὐτῶν, ὅτε εἰσῆλθον εἰς τὸ θέατρον, κατέλαβον, κατὰ λάθος, τὰς θέσεις ἄλλων, καὶ ὅτε ἦλθον οὗτοι, ἐνῷ ἤδη ἡ πρᾶξις εἶχεν ἀρχίσει, ἠναγκάσθησαν νὰ ἐγερθοῦν ἐρίζοντες, προκαλοῦντες δὲ τὰς ἐπανειλημμένας τοῦ κοινοῦ ἀποδοκιμασίας. Ἀλλ' ἐνῷ ἠγείροντο, ἕν κατάρατον καρφίον σχίζει τὰς κάτω ἐπιπέδους χώρας τοῦ πανταλονίου τοῦ κ. Ζαχαρίου, ὅστις φέρει τὴν χεῖρα εἰς τὰ αἰδήμονα ἐκεῖνα μέρη, ἀφεὶς οἰμωγὴν ἀπεριγράπτου πόνου, καὶ ἐν τῷ θορύβῳ του καὶ τῇ συγχίσει πατεῖ τὸ κράσπεδον τοῦ μελιτζανιοῦ φορέματος τῆς κυρίας Θεοδώρας, τὸ ὁποῖον ἀποσπᾶται τῆς ζώνης αὐτῆς μετὰ τρυγμοῦ θλιβεροῦ. Ἡ κυρία Θεοδώρα στρέφεται καὶ ἐξακοντίζει κατ' αὐτοῦ βλέμμα πλῆρες νιτρογλυκερίνης, φωνάζουσα ταυτοχρόνως: − Στραβωμάρα! Ὁ κ. Ζαχαρίας, ἔμφοβος ὡς ὁ Ἀδὰμ ὑπὸ τὴν πυρίνην ρομφαίαν τοῦ ἀγγέλου, ἀποσύρεται ἄγων ἐκ τῆς χειρὸς τὸν Μιμῖκον, καὶ κρατῶν διὰ τῆς ἑτέρας τὴν ὑπὸ τοὺς νεφροὺς χώραν, σύμπασα δὲ ἡ οἰκογένεια τὸν ἀκολουθεῖ καὶ κάθηται εἴς τινα θρανία παρὰ τὴν γωνίαν ἄναυδος καὶ ἄφωνος. Μόνη ἡ κ. Θεοδώρα κοχλάζει ὡς βυτίον πλῆρες νεογενοῦς γλεύκους. Ἀλλὰ μετά τινας στιγμὰς ὁ Μιμῖκος, ὅστις ἐκάθητο παραδόξως ἡσυχάζων, ἀρχίζει νὰ κινῆται, νὰ μορφάζῃ, νὰ προσβλέπῃ μετ' ἀγωνίας τοὺς γονεῖς, καὶ νὰ γρυλλίζῃ ὑποκώφως. Ἡ μύτη τῆς δεσποινίδος Οὐρανίας στρεφομένη ἀποτόμως ὡς λόγχη, τοῦ ἐπιβάλλει σιωπήν, ὁ δὲ πατὴρ τὸν συγκρατεῖ διὰ τῶν χειρῶν. Ἐκεῖνος ὅμως ἐξακολουθεῖ περιστρεφόμενος, καὶ ἐπὶ τέλους ἀναφωνεῖ ὀδυνηρῶς. − Μπαμπά, μπαμπά!… − Σιωπή! −Μπαμπά, μπαμππά… δὲν ἠμπορῶ.. Καὶ συστρέφεται καὶ ὠχριᾷ. Ἡ κυρία Θεοδώρα στρέφεται καί, βλέπουσα τὴν ὀδύνην τοῦ σκύμνου αὐτῆς, ὁρμᾷ ἀφίνουσα σπαρακτικήν κραυγήν. − Τὸ παιδί μου! Ἡ φωνὴ αὕτη ἐμβάλλει εἰς ἀναστάτωσιν τὸ ἀκροατήριον, τὸ ὁποῖον φωνάζει, ἐπιβάλλον σιωπήν, ἐγείρεται ἐπὶ τῶν θρανίων καὶ παρατηρεῖ. Οἱ ἀοιδοὶ διακόπτουν τὸ ᾆσμα· ἡ μουσικὴ παύει. Τρέχουν κλητῆρες καὶ ὑπαστυνόμοι. Οἱ ἀξιωματικοὶ ξιφουλκοῦν καὶ πηδοῦν ἀπὸ τὰ θρανία. Ἡ δεσποινὶς Οὐρανία βλέπουσα ὅλην αὐτὴν τὴν ταραχήν, καταλαμβάνεται ὑπὸ νευρικῶν σπασμῶν. Ἡ μήτηρ της τρέχει καὶ τὴν ὑποστηρίζει· προσέρχεται καὶ ἐν σπουδῇ ὁ ἐπίκουρος ἰατρός, ἀλλὰ δι' ἑνὸς τινάγματός της ἡ πάσχουσα χώνει τὴν αἰχμὴν τῆς μύτης της ἐντὸς τοῦ ὀφθαλμοῦ του καὶ σχεδὸν τὸν τυφλώνει. Ὁ κ. Ζαχαρίας μένει ὡς ἄγαλμα κρατῶν ἐκ τῆς χειρὸς τὸν Μιμῖκον, ὅστις ταράσσεται ὡς δαιμονιῶν καὶ κραυγάζει. − Μπαμπά, δὲν βαστῶ… ἡ κοιλιά μου… Τότε ὁ κ. Ζαχαρίας ἐννοεῖ ὅτι ὁ γόνος του πάσχει ἐκ τῶν ἀποτελεσμάτων τῆς ἀδηφαγίας του καὶ ζητεῖ νὰ τὸν φέρῃ ἔξω. Ἡ κ. Θεοδώρα τοῦ φωνάζει λυσσῶσα: − Τί στέκεσαι, κρεμανταλᾶ; πάρε τὸ παιδὶ ἔξω σὲ μίαν ἄκρη… Ὁ Μιμῖκος οὐρλιάζει. − Μπαμπά, μπαμπά ……….. Ὁ κ. Ζαχαρίας ἐννοῶν τὸ κρίσιμον τῆς θέσεως, ἐξέρχεται δρομαίως, φέρων, κατ' ἱστορικὴν ἀντίθεσιν, αὐτὸς Ἀγχίσης τὸν μικρὸν Αἰνείαν ἐπὶ τῶν ὤμων. Ἀλλὰ πρὶν ἤ προφθάσῃ νὰ ἐξέλθῃ, ἡ ὄσφρησίς του μανθάνει πρώτη ὅτι τὸ διάβημά του γίνεται ἀργά, ἑπομένως καταθέτει κατὰ γῆς τὸν Αἰνείαν μετὰ μορφασμοῦ ἀποστροφῆς. − Διατί δὲν τὸ πηγαίνεις ἔξω; τοῦ φωνάζει μὲ σπινθηροβολοῦντας ὀφθαλμοὺς ἡ κυρίας Θεοδώρα. − Δὲν εἶνε πλέον ἀνάγκη! ἀπαντᾷ μετὰ τόνου ἀπελπιστικοῦ ὁ σύζυγος. Ἡ κυρία Θεοδώρα ἐνόησε τὸ τετέλεσται τοῦτο καὶ τὴν μυστικήν του σημασίαν. Ἐγείρεται λοιπὸν μετὰ τῆς Οὐρανίας, τῆς ὁποίας ἔπαυσαν οἱ σπασμοί, καὶ ἐξέρχονται ἐν τῷ μέσῳ διπλοῦ στοίχου περιέργων, οἵτινες καγχάζουν διὰ τὸ περίεργον ἐπεισόδιον. Ὅλοι κρατοῦν κἄτι τι. Ἡ δεσποινὶς Οὐρανία κρατεῖ τὴν μύτην της, ἥτις ἐκτύπησε κατὰ τοὺς νευρικοὺς σπασμούς της· ἡ κυρία Θεοδώρα κρατεῖ τὸ μελιτζανί· ὁ κ. Ζαχαρίας κρατεῖ τὰ μεσημβρινὰ μέρη τοῦ σώματός του, ὁ Μιμῖκος κρατεῖ τὴν κοιλίαν του, ἥτις ἐκφέρει φρικώδεις βορβορυγμούς. Ἐξέρχονται τοῦ θεάτρου. Λόγος περὶ ἁμάξης δὲν γίνεται, διότι εἰς τὰ θυλάκια τοῦ κ. Ζαχαρίου ὑπολείπονται μόνον ὀλίγαι δεκάραι. Ἐκκινοῦν λοιπὸν πεζοὶ πρὸς τὸν Γολγοθᾶν αὑτῶν. Ἡ κυρία Θεοδώρα ἐκινεῖτο κυλινδουμένη καὶ μυκωμένη ὡς ταῦρος· ὁ κ. Ζαχαρίας ἐστέναζεν ὑποκώφως, κρατῶν ἐκ τῆς χειρὸς τὸν γρυλλίζοντα Μιμῖκον, καὶ πτύων ἀπὸ καιροῦ εἰς καιρόν. Ἡ δεσποινὶς Οὐρανία ἐξέπεμπεν ὑποκώφους λυγμούς. Οἱ διαβάται παρεμέριζον εἰς τὴν διάβασιν αὐτῶν. Ἐφαίνετο συνοδεία φυγοῦσα ἐκ τῆς κοιλάδος τοῦ κλαυθμῶνος. Ὅτε ἔφθασαν εἰς τὴν οἰκίαν, ὁ κ. Ζαχαρίας ὑπεδέξατο μὲ ἕν λάκτισμα τὸν προσελθόντα νὰ ὑποδεχθῇ αὐτοὺς Μαῦρον ὅστις ἔφυγεν ὀλολύζων. Ἐξύπνησαν τὴν Βασίλων, ἥτις ἐκοιμᾶτο. Πτώματά τινα σιγάρων καὶ ἡ ἀταξία τῶν ἐπίπλων ἐμαρτύρουν ὅτι ὁ ἀνδρεῖος τῆς Ἄνδρου Ἄρης, ἐπεχείρησε νύκτωρ ἔφοδον ἐπιτυχῆ κατὰ τοῦ κεστοῦ τῆς Ἀφροδίτης. Ὁ κ. Ζαχαρίας ἐπείνα· ἀνεζήτησε τὸ δεῖπνόν του, ἀλλὰ τὸ πινάκιον εὑρέθη καθαρόν, ὡς νὰ εἶχε πλυθῆ δι' ὕδατος θερμοῦ. Ἡ Βασίλω ἀπέδωκε τὴν κλοπὴν εἰς τὸν Μαῦρον, ὅστις καὶ πάλιν ἐδέχθη δύο καλὰ λακτίσματα, ἀλλὰ κατὰ πᾶσαν πιθανότητα, ἐπειδὴ ταυτοχρόνως ἔλειπε καὶ ὁ οἶνος, καὶ ἐπειδὴ ὁ Μαῦρος ἦτο ἐκ γενετῆς νηφάλιος, τὸ δεῖπνον τοῦ κ. Ζαχαρίου ἐχρησίμευσεν ὅπως ἐπιρρώσῃ τὰς ἐξαντληθείσας δυνάμεις τοῦ φοβεροῦ θεοῦ τοῦ πολέμου. Ὁ κ. Ζαχαρίας ἠναγκάσθη νὰ κατακλιθῇ νῆστις. Καθ' ὕπνους εἶδεν ὅραμα φρικτόν, ὅτι καταδικασθεὶς ὑπὸ τοῦ Κακουργιοδικείου νὰ μεταβῇ εἰς τὸ θέατρον τοῦ Ἀπόλλωνος, ἀπεφάσιζε ν' αὐτοκτονήσῃ, πνιγόμενος μὲ τὸ πανταλόνιον τοῦ Μιμίκου.   Του ίδιου:         ΑΙ ΑΙΣΘΗΣΕΙΣ CHARALAMBOS (BAMBIS) ANNINOS - MOSES DECALOGUE IN ...

THE FAMILY IS BEING ENTERTAINED   By Charalambos (Babis) Anninos Only a few years after the Ionian Islands became part of the Kingdom of Greece (1864) and the devastating earthquake in Cephalonia (1867), Charalambos ("Babis") Anninos (1852-1834), a descendant of the aristocratic (though decadent at that time) Anninos family, decides to move to Athens and chase his dream to become a professional writer and journalist, after making a few amateurish publishing efforts in Cephalonia. From early 1880s until his death in 1934, Charalambos Anninos writes in newspapers and magazines, publishes and translates many books, writes plays that become very successful on Athenian theatres and gets incorporated to the literary and cultural life of Athens, as he is an active member of the so-called "1880s generation",that changed the map of Modern Greek literature. This dissertation is following Anninos' long and winding way, from his amateurish publications in 1870s Cephalonia to the way he, born a citizen of the United States of the Ionian Islands, becomes a part of the dynamic and continuously developing Athenian cultural life of late 19th and early 20th century. Anninos was very productive (a fact that several times worked against the quality of his works), and was published in many journals throughout the entire Hellenic world of that time (Greek communities in the Balkans, Central Europe, Egypt, Ottoman Empire,even in New York). He is rather forgotten in our days, mostly because of his choice to use a "brillante" kathareuousa language, ensuring him a great success in his time. Anninos is a typical and shining example of an Ionian writer's assimilation in the Athenian (and National Greek) culture, that underlines the difference that can be identified between Corfu, which maintained his Ionian identity for a few more decades, with the rest of the Ionian Islands, that easily found their way to the new Athenian cultural reality. Rendered by Vassilis C. Militsis   Mr. Zachary Paradarmenos (Adrift), 55, is married and of Greek nationality as he was born of Greek parents. He is a retired magistrate on a pension of 73,27 Drs. He earns about as much, as he has been appointed an assessor by the tribunal thanks to his former office. Now – it should go no further as Mr. Zachary does not wish it know – he has an additional monthly income of 50 Drs: he copies legal documents assigned to him by a solicitor, who fifteen years before had been Mrs. Paradarmenos second cousin, frequenting her home as his duty called, while the husband was tracing the elliptical orbit under the sign of Capricorn. Thanks to these resources the members of the family succeed in consuming the daily due nutrients as defined by the Providence to pass through their digestive tracks before they end up to mother earth. However, I do not know whether for health reason or because of kinship propensity, the family especially prefers vegetarian substances. The donkey of the errant greengrocer automatically stands still before Mr.. Zachary’s abode, being certain that it will sufficiently be lightened of its green load. The geographical position of Mr. Zachary, as an individual, can be described in the following way: to the north it is limited by his cylindrical hat, which gloriously endured nine winters and now it is bearing the signs of its bravery, and yet it has always been loath to associate with some hat mender or other, although it has met all the shysters of inland Greece and Peloponnese; to the east it is restricted by Mrs. Thedora and her offspring, Mimikos; to the west by his daughter Urania and finally to the south by the maid Vassilo and Blacky, his dog. The mathematical formula of the Paradarmenoses is approximately the following: Theodora: Zachary+Mimikos+Urania+Vassilo+ Blacky : : 10:5 which means that Mr.s. Theodoras value within the family is twice as much as that of the rest of the family. Let us sketch the persons. Mrs Theodora – oval, flat face. Out of her 45 years of age she held 37, anchored in them without budging a step. Her two sides, being in adequate distance and lacking means of communication one from the other, are not much related, one ignoring what the other does. She likes compliments, chicken and ice-cream. Miss Urania – a damsel anemic and skinny as a democratic party; a dangerous nose, a pursing mouth. She likes candies and romance books. Mimikos – 9, mud to chocolate complexioned, a pair of large eyes and nostrils – constantly running – two knees permanently bruised. He likes everything – even the green plums of the neighbor’s plum tree, but he hates Sunday school and the castor oil administered by his father for recurring digestions. Vassilo – full-moon faced, head attached directly to the body without a neck intervention; hair wayward like a battalion recruit, short dress, liberal and uncompromising foot, not recognizing the restriction of shoe. She likes mature Beefcakes and beetroots. Mr. Zachary earned unexpectedly 33 drachmas the other day from an invitation to tender; as he had promised to take his family out, after this fiscal triumph the whole family conferred about the kind of entertainment. Mr. Zachary suggested that they hire a coach and ride to Kifissia, where he had a friend, and buy the necessary provisions, which Vassilo, as it was decided to take her along, could cook for them, because they would spend the whole day in the country. They would return home in the evening. On hearing of this romantic outing, Urania lowered her eyes and heaved a sigh. Mimikos proposed buying a tin of Baklava and a basket of peaches. However, Mrs. Theodora, who brooked no objections, had heard from a friend, whose sister-in- law had seen Faustus superbly acting in La Traviata at the Apollo Theater, therefore officially vetoed and declared they attend the opera at the Apollo on Sunday. The entire house had already been topsy-turvy since Saturday. Mrs. Theodora was taking care of an aubergine colored dress, which like the holy banner of the Prophet, was being unburied from the dresser only at certain days, as a witness of the family’s solemn occasions. Miss Urania was standing in front of the mirror for a long time, turning her face right and left to ascertain in which stance her nose appeared less pointed. Having cleaning forty-sever zucchinis, Vassilo washed a pair of yellow trousers of Mr. Zachary’s. Mimikos was insistently asking whether they sold sugared cookies at the theater and was racing along the street all day long rock pelting the plum tree of the garden across. When he got back into the house, he got hold of a sizable chunk of bread to Mrs. Theodora’s high dudgeon. When Mr. Zachary came home in the evening, they set down to dinner, and after that they gathered out of the house, fearlessly, for on that morning they paid off what they had bought on credit from the grocer across the street. In front of their house it was their wont to form a small group consisting of a retired warrant officer, a midwife and the wife of a court bailiff. Mrs. Theodora guided the conversation on purpose to the topic of entertainment and, to that effect, to announce to the gathering the big decision. The old WO growled that he would rather relish a hundred drams of resonated wine than go to the best theater in the world. The bailiff’s wife said that one day she happened to go to Phaleron with a lady friend, and she crossed herself on seeing some French women exhibiting their naked legs as high up as the thigh. Whereupon, Mr. Zachary cut in and mentioned that eleven years before he had seen in some part of Peloponnese one of the most significant troupes composed of three bears and four apes adding that a theater is an intellectual action of coherence of the spirit combined with the encoded break-away of the human race. During such formal occasions Mr. Zachary spoke in this style, and the midwife approved of his opinion nodding her head in agreement. After this pleasant pause the group dispersed and the family entered the house. In that evening Mr. Zachary was assigned to copy thirteen documents, and when the work was too burdensome, lovable Urania used to help her parent with the copying Mimikos was sitting near them studying the subject of Religion, but his mind was being overwhelmed by the idea of the theater and sugared cookies. Mr. Zachary dictates: “The litigant’s appeal of March 11…” Mimikos cuts in: “Daddy, why is the Symbol of Faith called so?” “Symbol of Faith is so called because it contributes (Greek symballei) to the Christian Faith, which is divided into Catechism and Chrestomathy;1 good children should not pester their fathers when they’re busy… “…appeal against those of Parnassis…” Mimikos whispers memorizing: “The Symbol of Faith is divided into articles…” Addressing Mr. Zachary, he asks in a loud voice: “Daddy, yesterday I saw a play poster put up that said Rigoletto. What does that mean? “…Of the Court of Magistrates at Parnassis… Rigoletto is a compound word from the Greek rigo=shiver and the Italian letto=bed. Hence, a Rigoletto is someone who shivers in bed.” “Why then doesn’t he cover himself with his quilt?” commented Theodora, who was sitting nearby knitting a sock. On hearing her mistress’s witticism, Vassilo chuckled and walked out of the room. And thus the scene is advancing until Mimikos falls asleep on the table and is carried to his bed by his mother, while Miss Urania puts down the last word acting attorney. The family goes to bed. On the following day when all are awake, the house is thrown into commotion. Mrs. Theodora rose early on purpose and went to church in order to flaunt her aubergine colored dress, and at the same time while crossing herself for a couple of times she got the opportunity to confide the exceptional occurrence to a friend. On her return home, Mr. Zachary goes out to buy the tickets. From the window Mrs. Theodora, so that she can be heard by her neighbors, is shouting out loud to her husband to buy four good tickets – in the middle of the house – because that is where she likes to sit. Mr. Zachary turns around and reassures her. Under the sun rays his hat acquires a blood-red tint, while his trousers reflect the sunlight and dazzle the passers-by like a mirror. In 97oF heat he goes to the Apollo for the tickets but he finds out that they are sold at Parthenon. He then, baked like roast-beef, heads to Parthenon cursing his ill fate, buys the tickets and returns home soaked in sweat, which runs into his shoes. On observing the tickets at 95.97 Drs, Mrs. Theodora begins to berate her husband because the numbers are not in successive order. Neither can Mr. Zachary explain the incident. However, since he was reassured that the numbers are OK, he supposes that at the theaters, according to a new system, they have abolished the even numbers to show that there are more spectators. The day has gone by without further incidents, save a heated dispute over a sudden loss of the 30 leptons set aside to purchase kerosene for the lamp; the money was pilfered by Mimikos, who had already spent 15 to buy peaches. Mrs. Theodora suspected Vassilo for the theft and intended to question her the following day; she was afraid to reprimand her lest the entertainment be foiled. Miss Urania read twenty pages of the romance she fully perused regularly every two months. Vassilo was secretly rejoicing as in that evening she would be all alone, which was a rare and unusual thing in that house. And she had every reason to be happier than ever, for on that morning on visiting the grocer to buy some butter, she announced out loud the family’s nocturnal outing; she did thus as she saw in the premises a fellow countryman from Andros, a retired soldier, who very often through warm glances and compliments expressed his flame of passion for her, and on hearing her voice he stood a 15 leptas drink of mastic for his comrades. Towards evening the family, duly dressed and groomed, hurriedly suppered, for the hour of their outing was at hand. The whole afternoon Mr. Zachary had been possessed by a streak for chanting and humbly sang the Cherubic Hymn six times. At the table he did not have much of an appetite for food; for this reason he asked Vassilo to keep his meal for after the theater. Finally they set off in procession with much ado as though they were in battle array. Vassilo, appeared at the window, supported by her fat elbows on the sill, smiling stupidly; Mr. Zachary in full voice assigned her to keep an eye on the house against something unexpected. The neighbors, the midwife, the bailiff’s wife and the grocer watched the parade through their windows. Mrs. Theodora, strutting like a peacock, was waving, and Mr. Zachary was striving to pull down his yellow trousers, which, taken in in the wash, reached up to the middle of the shin – leaving the entire gaps of his shoes in full view. Next to the yellow trousers, in the lingering twilight Mrs. Theodora’s aubergine dress flashed, too, and both garments shone in the encroaching dusk like two luminous meteors, whereas Miss Urania’s white raiment turned pale as she was walking with eyes half closed, her nose describing curves in the air. Mimikos went on gnawing away at a chunk of bread as he had not had the chance to throw the last rock at the plum tree. Blacky, the family dog, wagging his tail was about to follow them, but Mr. Zachary and Mimikos drove him back to the house with sticks and stones. They arrived at the center of Athens from their neighborhood when Mrs. Theodora realized the long way they had covered; feeling exhausted, she expressed the wish to hire a coach. Addressing the coachman Mr. Zachary offered him four quarters from his open palm. With rare courtesy the driver answered that Mr. Zachary had better hang the coins upon his wife’s neck. That rude reply incensed him to such an extent that he felt like avenging the insult with blood. But on second thoughts the poor horses would forfeit their master by such a murderous act. Therefore, he was moved by pity and endured the insolence like a true Christian. Thus they resumed their hike under unfavorable omens, as the consequent incidents were rather sad on the way. A squeezed lemon directed from a hoodlum to another struck by mistake Theodora’s aubergine dress and stained it all over. The poor woman let out a roar like a wounded lioness. While Mr. Zachary turned around to reproach the perpetrator, a newspaper boy hurrying around the horses’ reins collided with him. Due to the jolt the Mr. Zachary’s venerable hat fell upon the mire. Miss Urania’s nose nearly bumped with a passing coach. Every few minutes Mimikos would vanish on the way going to buy pears or roasted corn cobs making the whole family lag behind and look for him calling his name out loud. In fact, at the third time, the couple began to be really concerned because Mimikos was nowhere to be found. Mrs. Theodora was screaming fearing that he was knocked down by a coach. Mr. Zachary was spinning around like a top yelling for his child and asking the pedestrians. From Miss Urania’s eye corner a tear in vain attempted to roll down her cheek. Finally, the male offspring of the family was spotted quarrelling with a vendor over the purchase of three bagels for ten leptas. Mr. Zachary caught him by the ear and at the same time the tip of his foot was, not too softly, as if by instinct, brought against his scion’s rear. Finally, after all these vicissitudes, the family arrived sound and safe at the Theater Apollo’s garden. They had to wait until the gates opened and therefore they took a stroll as far as the Ilissos Bridge. Mr. Zachary showed the Stadium to his family, explaining that in antiquity it was Stadiou Street, which is now further down; when Mimikos asked why it was called so, his father replied that the ancients used to drink a half Oka divided into two [in Greek into two=sta dio]; hence Stadiou Street. After looking around the place, they returned to the theater. The entire family looked rather odd. Mrs. Theodora’s face had lowered; Mimikos’ tummy had stuck out; Urania’s nose had been elongated to the height of Strasbourg bell tower. What had only become shorter were Mr. Zachary’s yellow trousers, which were glowing in the gas light. At last they sat in their places and began to look around in curiosity. In order to locate his own seat, Mimikos took to counting the numbers aloud treading on the feet of those sitting left and right, who were pushing him away in indignation. Mrs. Theodora was complaining that the lamp in front of her prevented her from seeing and demanded that her husband go and ask to remove it. Seeing a cadet military physician who had sat a little further and oddly looking at her, Miss Urania heaved a sigh waking an old man sitting and quietly slumbering in the next seat. At first the people spoke sotto voce, but gradually all began speak in a cacophony conversing and commenting. All of a sudden Mr. Zachary recalled Vassilo and wondered what she might have been doing in that hour. On hearing her maid’s name mentioned, Mrs. Theodora remembered the theft of the thirty lepta and growing purple from anger she declared loudly she was going to strangle her with her own hands. Her countenance and her utterance were so scaring that a young lady walking in the same row of seats at that moment was frightened and would not proceed. Mimikos was tormenting his parent with a host of queries: “Daddy, does this picture show La Traviata?” “Hold your mouth, stupid; this picture shows The Three Graces, who are Atropos, Cleopatra and Calliope.”* “Daddy, why do they play music?” “They play music for the singers and for the people who listen.” “Daddy, is Calliope Mrs.Christena’s** daughter?” “Calliope was the queen of the Argonauts, Oedipus wife, who… well, stop badgering me!” At last the curtain went up. The Paradarmenoses believed they were watching La Traviata, but in reality the Un Ballo in Maschera was being performed. Naturally, they wondered where La Traviata was. At the end of Act I, Mr. Zachary ruled that the page boy, meaning Oscar, had played his part excellently. In Act II, however, as soon as Amelia made her presence, Mrs. Theodora exclaimed that she must be La Traviata, but the latter did not seem as consumptive as she had heard from Urania, who had read the romance. The remark, made out loud in the perfect stillness, attracted the attention of the people nearby, who turned to the family with an odd grin. Finally, a viewer took pity on them and explained to Mr. Zachary of their mistake. He was a patron of the theater every Sunday and told him about the programs of the Apollo, thus showing off his knowledge about theater. After heeding the explanation of that gentleman about the opera, Mr. Zachary conveyed the information to his family and in turn explained that the present drama was not La Traviata but the Un Ballo in Caschera, featuring Linda, whose husband does not allow her to dance and for that reason kills the dance hall owner; thus Linda is driven mad. Mimikos asked how she was driven mad, and Mr. Zachary replied that the brain of the human intellect is the starting point, by dint of which the musical sense settles in the human spirit when one attends a melodrama. During one of the intermissions they family felt like exiting to the garden. While they were about to sit at a table, they witnessed a huge uproar and heard distressful cries. On hurrying to the scene of the incident, they saw Mimikos trying to escape from the hands of the café owner, who had seen him stealing a pastry. The father had to pay the owner to set the petty thief free, and gave his son a gratuity of some slaps. This incident caused great disturbance to the family. Mrs. Theodora was cursing the hour. Mr. Zachary almost came to blows with the waiter, for the latter had failed to bring glasses of water when the family placed the order. They were all so dazed when they reentered the theater that they sat in the wrong seats. When the right occupants claimed theirs, the act had already begun. The family was compelled to get up quarrelling, causing the disapproval of the public. While Mr. Zachary was standing up from his seat, an accursed nail ripped the lower part of his trousers; whereupon uttering a wail of extreme pain, he tried to cover up that intimate part. But in his confusion he stepped on the fringe of Mrs. Theodora’s aubergine dress, which created a pathetic crackling noise. Mrs. Theodora turned and hurled at him a deleterious stare crying out at the same time:   “Are you blind or something?” Mr. Zachary, frightened like Adam under the Angel’s fiery sword, draws away holding Mimikos with one hand, and places the other on the tract under his kidneys. He is followed by the entire family and finds some seats at the corner where he sits without uttering a word. Mrs. Theodora sits down alone frothing like a barrel full of newly fermenting grape must. However, some moments later, Mimikos, who was surprisingly sitting quietly, started to squirm, grimace and turn agonizingly to his parents, at the same time making bellowing sounds. Miss Urania’s nose, turning abruptly like a spear, shushed him whereas his father was keeping him still with his hands. However, Mimikos kept on wiggling and at last exclaimed in pain: “Daddy, daddy!...” “Shush!” “Daddy, daddy… I can’t stand it any more…” He keeps on contorting going pale. Turning to him and seeing her cub’s pangs, Mrs. Theodora rushes on letting out a heartbreaking cry. “Oh, my child!” Her scream created a commotion in the audience, which rising from their seats in indignation, call out for silence. The opera singers interrupt their singing and the orchestra aborts their play. Ushers and policemen rush in. The officers draw out their swords and spring over the seats. Seeing all this ado, Miss Urania is taken by nervous fits. The mother hurries in to her aid. The cadet medical rushes in, too, but by a sudden twitch the tip of her nose sticks into his eye nearly blinding him. Mr. Zachary is standing bolt upright like a statue holding Mimikos, who is writhing as if possessed and shrieking. “Daddy, I can’t stand it…my tummy…” Then Mr. Zachary realizes that his offspring is suffering from the consequence of his gluttony and begs to be brought outside. A raging Theodora screams at him: “What are you standing there for, you hulk of a man? Take the boy out to some place…” Mimikos is yelling. “Daddy, daddy……. Mr. Zachary, full aware now of the critical condition, he is speedily hastens outside carrying his son on his shoulders, in historical contrast, as Anchises carrying little Aeneias.  “Why don’t you take him out?” Mrs. Theodora is yelling at him, her eyes scintillating with anger “It’s no longer necessary!” responds her desperate husband. Mrs. Theodora realized the fait accomplis and its concealed meaning. She rises along with Urania, whose convulsions have now stopped, and they both walk out through a double row of people, who look on curiously and snicker at this odd occurrence. All hold something. Miss Urania is holding her nose, which has been hurt during her nervous seizures. Mrs. Theodora is holding her aubergine dress and Mr. Zachary his waist, while Mimikos is holding his belly, which is making ghastly rumblings. They exit the theater. There is no question about hiring a coach as Mr. Zachary’s pockets are empty except for a few dimes. They set off plodding up their way home on foot. Mrs. Theodora was wobbling and bellowing like a bull. Mr. Zachary was heaving hollow sighs holding Mimikos, who now and then was growling and spitting. Miss Urania was silently sobbing. The pedestrians would step aside to let them go by. The company seemed to have escaped from the Valley of Wailing. Upon arriving home, Mr. Zachary gave vent to his anger by kicking the welcoming Blacky, who scampered away yelping. They aroused the slumbering Vassilo. Some scattered cigarette butts and the disarray of the furniture were witnesses that the manly Ares from Andros had attempted a successful dash on the Girdle of Aphrodite. Mr. Zachary was starving; he sought his supper, but the plate was clean as if it had been washed in warm water. Vassilo ascribed the theft to Blacky, who received again two full kicks; however, in all likelihood, the wine was missing, and as Blacky had been sober since his birth, Mr. Zachary’s supper had been used to invigorate the spent strength of the dreadful god of war. Mr. Zachary was compelled to retire to bed on an empty stomache. In his slumbers he had a horrid dream: he was sentenced by the criminal court to go to the Apollo theater and strangle himself with Mimikos’ trousers.  1A chrestomathy is a curated collection of literary passages, specifically selected for didactic purposes such as studying a foreign language or highlighting an author's best work.   *Obviously Mr. Zachary is completely ignorant though he had once been a magistrate. The Three Graces were Aglaea, Euphrosyne and Thalia, according to Greek Mythology. **Christena is in fact the wife of some Christos – according to custom a wife is adjectively addressed by her husband’s Christian name, e.g. Vassilaina, Vassilis’s  wife.